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Some people think that instead of climate change, we need to find a way to live with it. To what extent do you agree or disagree v.1

Some people think that instead of climate change, we need to find a way to live with it. v. 1
Enrolling oneself in college or university is considered to be one of the most crucial decisions in life. Students aspire to join educational institutes for better career paths, social exposure and enhancement of skills. In my essay, I would enlist the reasons, I believe, that impels people to attend these institutions with appropriate examples. Primarily, in today’s competitive world, career success is closely associated with educational qualification. In the past, formal education was not vital, but, good connections with work-experience could settle one’s life easily. Nowadays, the job market has become more demanding, wherein, work experience is considered secondary to one’s professional skills and degree. Therefore, youngsters join universities to attain specialization and prepare themselves for future career. For instance, any graduate engineer would stand a better chance over an experienced but unqualified worker for a career in any field today. Another reason why people decide to go to college is to enjoy new experiences. The latest trend has been for students to pursue their higher studies at places away from their hometown, in a quest to socialize with different cultures and face the challenge of living independently. Foreign grad schools offer this opportunity which is vastly explored by the current generation. For example, medical professionals from India prefer to explore further education prospects abroad, which provide a chance to get an insight into the global knowledge pool. In conclusion, there are many factors that may influence a person’s decision to attend college, but the most important one is the fear of not being successful and missing out on new experiences in life.
Enrolling oneself in college or university
is considered
to be one of the most crucial decisions in life. Students aspire to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
educational institutes for better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
paths, social exposure and enhancement of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. In my essay, I would enlist the reasons, I believe, that impels
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to attend these institutions with appropriate examples.

Primarily
, in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s competitive world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
success is
closely
associated with educational qualification. In the past, formal education was not vital,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
connections with work-experience could settle one’s life
easily
. Nowadays, the job market has become more demanding, wherein, work experience
is considered
secondary to one’s professional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and degree.
Therefore
, youngsters
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
universities to attain specialization and prepare themselves for future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
.
For instance
, any graduate engineer would stand a better chance over an experienced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
unqualified worker for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
in any field
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.

Another reason why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
decide to go to college is to enjoy new experiences. The latest trend has been for students to pursue their higher studies at places away from their hometown, in a quest to socialize with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures and face the challenge of living
independently
. Foreign grad schools offer this opportunity which is
vastly
explored by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
generation.
For example
, medical professionals from India prefer to explore
further
education prospects abroad, which provide a chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an insight into the global knowledge pool.

In conclusion
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors that may influence a person’s decision to attend college,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
one is the fear of not being successful and missing out on new experiences in life.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
The limits of my language are the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay Some people think that instead of climate change, we need to find a way to live with it. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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