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Some people think that individuals are not able to improve the environment. Only the government and companies can make a difference. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

Some people think that individuals are not able to improve the environment. Only the government and companies can make a difference. v. 2
Nowadays, environmental pollution has become one of the most important issues that every country’s society concerned about. Some individuals believe that it is the responsibility of the government and big companies to protect the environment because they hold the power and property of the resources while, individuals are too weak to make much effort, my opinion, every individual can make a difference with the support of government and large companies. Individuals have the responsibility and ability to save our world if they really concern about the environment. First of all, individuals should keep clean and tidy their surround coöperate with other neighbours. For instance, they can organize a campaign or club in the area that are volunteer to cope with other neighbours to clean the neighbourhood, which can help to protect the environment. Also, having a general knowledge of cleaning and recycling the garbage at their home would help to keep the environment clean. In addition, the government and other large companies also need more aware of protecting the environment. The most important thing the effect on big companies and factories caused by public awareness and habits. Importantly, if the large companies and factories provide environmental friendly behaviours to the public, it directly influenced by the whole society. For example, a recycling system and removing harmful gases to the air should be controlled by large companies and factories. When disposal bags are not popular anymore in the market, the manufactures should stop their production and have to find an eco-friendly replacement instead. From providing a large service of recycling garbage around the world, public awareness and motivation by media and suitable law to the society are other options that government can create and whoever breaks the law, will be charged. In conclusion, my point of view is that everyone is responsible for protecting our planet, while government and companies should cooperate and it is their responsibility to protect the environment with a better influence on the society.
Nowadays, environmental pollution has become one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
issues that every country’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
concerned about.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
believe that it is the responsibility of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
to protect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they hold the power and property of the resources while,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
are too weak to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
much effort, my opinion, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a difference with the support of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.

Individuals have the responsibility and ability to save our world if they
really
concern about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
clean and tidy their surround
Possible spelling mistake found.
coöperate
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
.
For instance
, they can organize a campaign or club in the area that are volunteer to cope with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
to clean the
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
, which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to protect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
.
Also
, having a general knowledge of cleaning and recycling the garbage at their home would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
clean.

In addition
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
also
need more aware of protecting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
. The most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing the effect on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
and factories caused by public awareness and habits.
Importantly
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
and factories provide environmental friendly
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
to the public, it
directly
influenced by the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
For example
, a recycling system and removing harmful gases to the air should
be controlled
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
and factories. When disposal bags are not popular
Make sure that 'anymore' is used as an adverb, not as an adjective. Did you mean "any more"?
anymore
in the market, the manufactures should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
their production and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
find an eco-friendly replacement
instead
. From providing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
service of recycling garbage around the world, public awareness and motivation by media and suitable law to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
options that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can create and whoever breaks the law, will
be charged
.

In conclusion
, my point of view is that everyone is responsible for protecting our planet, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
should cooperate and it is their responsibility to protect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
with a better influence on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that individuals are not able to improve the environment. Only the government and companies can make a difference. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
327 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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