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Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment; only government and large companies can make a difference. To what extent do you agree or disagree. v.2

Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment; only government and large companies can make a difference. v. 2
I totally disagree with this view. As all of us are being contributed to the environment, we can also improve it in our daily lives. Firstly, there should be more for us to do than the government and the large corporation. Some people may claim that the government and large companies are contributing the most to the environment, therefore, our effect might seem nothing in front of theirs. However, for every country, there is only one government, but numerous individuals, we are the one who contribute more to the environment. Besides, the governments are just paying the bills for the citizens, if we keep ignoring governments' suggestion, how can the governments do anything to enhance the situation? Therefore, we should be more responsible for the environment. Besides, our daily behaviour can also help change the situation. Some people might assert that the government and the large-in-scale companies can do much more than we can, for example, they can reduce the amount of the waste and help improve the environment. However, the monthly for every single individual is around 4 tonnes, in other words, if we can reduce our daily waste like having our steels when ordering drinks or having a handkerchief instead of using tissue papers, these might all help us to produce less waste and help boost the environment to a certain degree. To summarise it, there are more the individuals can do than governments or large-in-scale companies, as these all are formed by numerous individuals, besides, our daily behaviour also contributes a lot to the environment. Therefore, we should restrict our moves and take the obligation to improve the environment. By analysis this situation, I think all of us should do more for our planet.
I
totally
disagree with this view. As all of us are
being contributed
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
, we can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
it in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

Firstly
, there should be more for us to do than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and the large corporation.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may claim that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and large
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are contributing the most to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
,
therefore
, our effect might seem nothing in front of theirs.
However
, for every country, there is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
, we are the one who contribute more to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
.
Besides
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
paying the bills for the citizens, if we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
ignoring
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
' suggestion, how can the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
do anything to enhance the situation?
Therefore
, we should be more responsible for the environment.

Besides
, our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
daily
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
can
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the situation.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
might assert that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and the large-in-scale
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
can do much more than we can,
for example
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the amount of the waste and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
.
However
, the monthly for every single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
is around 4 tonnes,
in other words
, if we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
daily
waste like having our steels when ordering drinks or having a handkerchief
instead
of using tissue papers, these might all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
us to produce less waste and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
boost the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
to a certain degree.

To
Possible spelling mistake. 'summarise' is British English.
summarise
it, there are more the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
can do than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
or large-in-scale
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, as these all
are formed
by numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
,
besides
, our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
daily
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
also
contributes a lot to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
.
Therefore
, we should restrict our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moves
and take the obligation to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
. By analysis this situation, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
all of us should do more for our planet.
21Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
A new language is a new life.
Persian Proverb

IELTS essay Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment; only government and large companies can make a difference. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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