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It is important to ensure that children with a wide range of abilities and from a varietyof social backgrounds mix with each other at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

It is important to ensure that children with a wide range of abilities and from a varietyof social backgrounds mix with each other at school. v. 2
The ways how children should be educated have been discussed by a lot of parents and educators, especially, how about the educational environment should be. In many countries, parents believe that letting their children learn in a mixing environment with many peers from different families is better than sending them to special schools. This essay will present some possible explanations to prove that idea. First and foremost, learning in mixing environment which includes differences will make children more interactive and open-minded. Opened spaces with many diversities provide children opportunities to encounter many new people, friends and things than in a closed environment. As a the needs of living in diverse environment, children will learn and find new ways to communicate with their friends, that is the time when interaction process of children are stimulated. Besides this, to deal with the fear of differences, children also adapt with them by developing their open-minded thought and respect the differences which exist a lot in their studying environments. Equally important, children will learn more about the real life’s components in the mixing schools. Actually, it can say that a diverse educational space is the model of the reality, thus, in this space, there are a lot of beautiful things from many students. Learning in this kind of environment will support children having an imagination about a true life which created by cultures, languages, individuals and relationships. This environment will enable children connecting with others, then they can share their perspectives about life, therefore, they can also learn from each others and as a result, they understand more about their surrounding environment and the society where they are living in. International schools, for instance, where a lot of oversea students are studying and learning together. Because of that, a lot of people had to admit that these schools are one of the most civilized model of school system in over the world. All in all, mixing educational spaces not only are crucial to assist children to be more creative, interactive and open-minded in learning process, but also introduce children a range of real life’s components. Personally, I strongly believe that is the best method which guarantees the perfect development of children.
The ways how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
be educated
have
been discussed
by a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of parents and educators,
especially
, how about the educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
should be. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries, parents believe that letting their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mixing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
peers from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
families is better than sending them to special
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. This essay will present
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
possible explanations to prove that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.

First
and foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mixing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
which includes differences will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
more interactive and open-minded. Opened
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spaces
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
diversities provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
opportunities to encounter
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, friends and things than in a closed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
. As
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "a" or "the" is left.
a the
needs of living in diverse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
and find new ways to communicate with their friends,
that is
the time when interaction process of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are stimulated
.
Besides
this, to deal with the fear of differences,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
also
adapt with them by developing their open-minded
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
and respect the differences which exist a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
in their studying environments.

Equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
more about the real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life’s
components in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mixing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. Actually, it can say that a diverse educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
is the model of the reality,
thus
, in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
, there are a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
things from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
students.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Learning
in this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
will support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
having an imagination about a true
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
which created by cultures, languages, individuals and relationships. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
will enable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
connecting with others, then they can share their
The usual preposition for "perspectives" is "on" not "about." Revise: "perspectives on".
perspectives about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
therefore
, they can
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
from each
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "other"?
others
and
as a result
, they understand more about their surrounding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
and the society where they are living in. International
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
,
for instance
, where a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of oversea students are studying and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
together.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of that, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
had to admit that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are one of the most civilized model of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
system in over the world.

All in all,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mixing
educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spaces
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
are crucial to assist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to be more creative, interactive and open-minded in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
process,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
introduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
a range of real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life’s
components.
Personally
, I
strongly
believe
that is
the best method which guarantees the perfect development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
51Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay It is important to ensure that children with a wide range of abilities and from a varietyof social backgrounds mix with each other at school. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
367 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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