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some believe that morden technology has made people less socially active, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.1

some believe that morden technology has made people less socially active, while others disagree. v. 1
In today’s society, it is widely acknowledged that the contentment has had a direct impact on people’s liveliness. However, some people do not even think about bringing gladness. This essay will explore why the concept of delight is hard to describe and what are the key element in acquiring elation. Firstly, it seems that the most important cause to the hardly of describing the enjoyment goes back to the kind of views about living. Moreover, some people believe that having a plenty worth is the vital role in getting to the euphoria. however, experience has shown that the wealth plays a minor role in this case. Although the wealth to the extent necessary is important, it does not guarantee the exhilaration. In addition, there were many rich people that despite living a prosperous being, they have not had a happy breath. For example, famous person as Robin Williams, despite having the worthy and getting multiple awards in acting, was not happy, and finally committed suicide. Thus, the definition of joy is different and makes it difficult to define. Secondly, there are some elements to obtain jubilation. In fact, having the blitheness living based on less expectations from life and the spirit of helping to needy people. Human is a being that has many desires and aspirations in provided one of them would be fulfilled, those tendencies will be more. thus, the person is made unhappy. However, philanthropy activity such as helping to needy people create inner prosperity and as well as it also makes life more satisfying. In conclusion, having the variety of views about living has direct connection to the difficulty of defining well-being. Furthermore, the factors like less expectation of Brio and philanthropy activity are obtaining cheerfulness.
In
today
’s society, it is
widely
acknowledged that the contentment has had a direct impact on
people’s
liveliness.
However
,
some
people
do not even
think
about bringing gladness. This essay will explore why the concept of delight is
hard
to
describe
and what are the key element in acquiring elation.

Firstly
, it seems that the most
important
cause to the hardly of describing the enjoyment goes back to the kind of views about
living
.
Moreover
,
some
people
believe that
having
a
plenty
worth is the vital role in getting to the euphoria.
however
, experience has shown that the wealth plays a minor role
in this case
. Although the wealth to the extent necessary is
important
, it does not guarantee the exhilaration.
In addition
, there were
many
rich
people
that despite
living
a prosperous being, they have not had a happy breath.
For example
,
famous
person as Robin Williams, despite
having
the worthy and getting multiple awards in acting, was not happy, and
finally
committed suicide.
Thus
, the definition of joy is
different
and
makes
it difficult to define.

Secondly
, there are
some
elements to obtain jubilation. In fact,
having
the blitheness
living
based on
less
expectations from life and the spirit of helping to needy
people
. Human is a being that has
many
desires and aspirations in provided one of them would
be fulfilled
, those tendencies will be more.
thus
, the person
is made
unhappy.
However
, philanthropy activity such as helping to needy
people
create inner prosperity and
as well
as it
also
makes
life more satisfying.

In conclusion
,
having
the variety of views about
living
has direct connection to the difficulty of defining well-being.
Furthermore
, the factors like less expectation of
Brio
and philanthropy activity are obtaining cheerfulness.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay some believe that morden technology has made people less socially active, while others disagree. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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