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Some people think that in the modern world we are more dependent on each other while others think that people have become more independent Discuss both views and give your own opinion v.14

Some people think that in the modern world we are more dependent on each other while others think that people have become more independent 14
With the advent of technology, our world has been modernized; hence, many concepts have been exposed to changes. Many people assert that this trend has forced people to rely on each other. On the contrast, some others opine that the public has pivoted toward independence. This essay seeks to investigate both mentioned viewpoint, followed by my own perception. On the one hand, the former group state a plethora of indisputable points to justify their perspective. First and foremost, they say people are able to inculcate themselves on their own. To elaborate, the development of internet and educational websites has rendered the conventional edification completely obsolete; therefore, their dependence on teachers is less significant than before. Moreover, modern services such as email eliminate people reliance on postal service and many employees from sorters to postmen because the process is now automated. Last but not least, psychological dependency has decreased among people. To illustrate, these days, due to the mundane mechanical life, people have the tendency to distance themselves from loved ones and have a less emotional attachment to family and loved ones. On the other hand, there are manifold reasons that the latter group enlist to demonstrate their view. Firstly, the social media and modern inventions such as mobile phones push people to be in touch more often. People have the ability to talk to each other and be informed about others from longer distances. Therefore, because of the availability of these, people tend to be more socially dependent on each other than before. Furthermore, these developments force the masses to depend on the specialty of others. For instance, people need mechanics to repair their cars or engineers to repair their computer. To recapitulate, on the basis of the aforementioned irrefutable arguments from both sides, I believe while we are more independent in some aspects such as online teaching and communication services, we more depend on professionals who are specialized in modern fields.
With the advent of technology, our world has
been modernized
;
hence
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
concepts have
been exposed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
assert that this trend has forced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to rely on each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
. On the contrast,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
others opine that the public has pivoted toward independence. This essay seeks to investigate both mentioned viewpoint, followed by my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
perception.

On the one hand, the former group state a plethora of indisputable points to justify their perspective.
First
and foremost, they say
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are able to inculcate themselves on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
. To elaborate, the development of internet and educational websites has rendered the conventional edification completely obsolete;
therefore
, their dependence on teachers is less significant than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
Moreover
, modern services such as email eliminate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
reliance on postal service and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
employees from sorters to postmen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the process is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
automated. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, psychological dependency has decreased among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. To illustrate, these days, due to the mundane mechanical life,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have the tendency to distance themselves from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones and have a less emotional attachment to family and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, there are manifold reasons that the latter group enlist to demonstrate their view.
Firstly
, the social media and modern inventions such as mobile phones push
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to be in touch more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have the ability to talk to each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
and
be informed
about others from longer distances.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the availability of these,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to be more
socially
dependent on each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
Furthermore
, these developments force the masses to depend on the specialty of others.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need mechanics to repair their cars or engineers to repair their computer.

To recapitulate, on the basis of the aforementioned irrefutable arguments from both sides, I believe while we are more independent in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
aspects such as online teaching and communication services, we more depend on professionals who
are specialized
in modern fields.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that in the modern world we are more dependent on each other while others think that people have become more independent 14

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
322 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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