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The tourism industry has grown enormously over the last fifty years, and there are few places which are unaffected by it. However, tourism rarely benefits the countries which tourists visit. v.2

The tourism industry has grown enormously over the last fifty years, and there are few places which are unaffected by it. However, tourism rarely benefits the countries which tourists visit. v. 2
Over the last five decades, tourism has surged rapidly in a lot of countries. A lot of people have started to visit various countries during holidays to experience their culture, food and natural or man-made attractions. Since, a lot of places haven' t yet become tourist spots and are developing well, many people are of the opinion that tourism rarely benefits the host country. In this essay I' ll discuss why I disagree with this opinion. The rapidly growing tourism industry brings it' s own share of problems. With more people coming in the country, there is always an increased chance of security threat and trading of illegal items. The government needs to invest more on weapons and military training to tighten it' s Police force. Tourists leave behind a lot of littered garbage, plastics bags and other harmful substances that possess significant threat to the environment. Many beautiful spots have been destroyed by land wastes. For example, the holy river Ganges in northern India has been polluted with wastes left over by tourists, hence making it unfit to take a bath. However, tourism is important for the hosting country, since tourists spend a lot of money while visiting different places which brings in revenue for the country. Hence, the government tries to push the tourism industry by building better infrastructure and investing in maintenance of these attractions. Additionally, with growth in business, more employment opportunities are created for the citizens of that country. In my opinion, though there are numerous harmful aspects to tourism, these can be well controlled by being responsible citizens and imposing strict rules. Tourists should be fined for littering garbage and trying to disturb the peace of the place. The part of the revenue from this industry can be used by the government to improve military and Police so as to stop illegal activities.
Over the last five decades,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
has surged
rapidly
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to visit various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
during holidays to experience their culture, food and natural or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
-made attractions. Since, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of places
Possible spelling mistake found.
haven&
#039; t
yet
become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
spots and are developing well,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are of the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
rarely benefits the host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. In this essay
Possible spelling mistake found.
I&
#039; ll discuss why I disagree with this opinion.

The
rapidly
growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
industry brings
Possible spelling mistake found.
it&
#039; s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
share of problems. With more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
coming in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, there is always an increased chance of security threat and trading of illegal items. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
needs to invest more on weapons and military training to tighten
Possible spelling mistake found.
it&
#039; s Police force.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Tourists
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
behind a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of littered garbage, plastics bags and other harmful substances that possess significant threat to the environment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
spots have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
by land wastes.
For example
, the holy river Ganges in northern India has
been polluted
with wastes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
over by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
,
hence
making it unfit to take a bath.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for the hosting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
spend a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of money while visiting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
places which brings in revenue for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Hence
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
tries to push the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
industry by building better infrastructure and investing in maintenance of these attractions.
Additionally
, with growth in business, more employment opportunities
are created
for the citizens of that country.

In my opinion, though there are numerous harmful aspects to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
, these can be well controlled by being responsible citizens and imposing strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Tourists
should
be fined
for littering garbage and trying to disturb the peace of the place. The part of the revenue from this industry can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
military and Police
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
illegal activities.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay The tourism industry has grown enormously over the last fifty years, and there are few places which are unaffected by it. However, tourism rarely benefits the countries which tourists visit. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
309 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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