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Some people think that in the modern world we are more dependent on each other, while others think that people have become more independent. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience v.5

Some people think that in the modern world we are more dependent on each other, while others think that people have become more independent. 5
The appearance of advanced science and technology in 21st century triggers many divergent notions of how people interact with each others. From my point of view, humans are considerably connecting others in terms of society; however, their private life is more independent. On the one hand, the modern world forces people to cooperate in their work since there are a large number of harsh tasks which require many labourers in other fields. Skyscrapers, for instance, are the combination of experts such as architects along with engineers. Therefore, if there is the absence of any one, these structures could not be completed. Besides, people obtain a trend of specialization, which means they concentrate on a sole field. Accordingly, even though they acquire an insight knowledge about their major, those suffers the dearth of other necessary skills. To illustrate this case, a recent research has shown that most doctors when interviewed could not teach biology and math for their children; as a result they must have tutors don that. On the other hand, citizens attain liberty as respect to individual life. Firstly, people are eligible to make their own decision as well as pursuing their passions which used to be disregarded in the past. Women in the modern world, for example, are unnecessary to sacrifice their career to become housekeepers, which is supported by the fact that many of them are successful entrepreneurs. In addition, thanks to an appreciable increase in private income, a radical number of people tend to live apart from their parents soon. Compared to the past, when the youngsters are highly depended on grants from their family, those in the presence could easily subsist by themselves. Subsequently weighing all the aforementioned, I suppose that people in this era have more interactive jobs but gain more independent life
The appearance of advanced science and technology in 21st century triggers
many
divergent notions of how
people
interact with each
others
. From my point of view, humans are
considerably
connecting others in terms of society;
however
, their private life is more independent.

On the one hand, the modern world forces
people
to cooperate in their work since there are
a large number of
harsh tasks which require
many
labourers
in
other
fields. Skyscrapers,
for instance
, are the combination of experts such as architects along with engineers.
Therefore
, if there is the absence of
any one
, these structures could not
be completed
.
Besides
,
people
obtain a trend of specialization, which means they concentrate on a sole field.
Accordingly
,
even though
they acquire an insight knowledge about their major,
those suffers
the dearth of
other
necessary
skills
. To illustrate this case, a recent research has shown that most doctors when interviewed could not teach biology and math for their children;
as a result
they
must
have tutors don that.

On the
other
hand, citizens attain liberty as respect to individual life.
Firstly
,
people
are eligible to
make
their
own
decision
as well
as pursuing their passions which
used
to
be disregarded
in the past. Women in the modern world,
for example
, are unnecessary to sacrifice their career to become housekeepers, which
is supported
by the fact that
many
of them are successful entrepreneurs.
In addition
, thanks to an appreciable increase in private income, a radical number of
people
tend to
live
apart from their parents
soon
. Compared to the past, when the youngsters are
highly
depended on grants from their family, those in the presence could
easily
subsist by themselves.

Subsequently
weighing all the aforementioned, I suppose that
people
in this era have more interactive jobs
but
gain more independent life
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that in the modern world we are more dependent on each other, while others think that people have become more independent. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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