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Some people think that in the modern world we are more dependant on each other, while others think that people have become more independent. Discuss and give your own opinion. v.2

Nowadays, some people claim that modern era makes people more reliant on one another, whereas others assert that we are dependent-free. In my point of view, humans became more independent on each other more than any time in history. First and foremost, as modernization develops, necessity of people grows dramatically. Since life gets more difficult and complex, people, especially youngsters, tend to be rely on one another. For instance, the rents, properties, food and others daily life needs are at exorbitant prices. Furthermore, due to people’s busy schedule and high ambition, they need to socialize and get to know people from different walks of life and this creates a wider circle in which people’s interaction and reliance on each other increase. On the other hand, it is undeniable that the era which grows day in day out, made some changes in our lives and it lead us to more self-dependent individuals. The progress of the technology has made us more self-reliant and we love to take advantages of the modern tools and devices to make things of our own. For instance, many people these days pick an online lesson than getting admitted to a training institute. Many of us even have the freedom to work from home and this is an obvious shift in the way we earn our living. To wrap it up, as discussed above, I am convinced that people have become more independent, in spite of their dependence on others in certain aspects.
Nowadays,
some
people
claim that modern era
makes
people
more reliant on one another, whereas others assert that we are dependent-free. In my point of view, humans became more independent on each
other
more than any time in history.

First
and foremost, as modernization develops, necessity of
people
grows
dramatically
. Since life
gets
more difficult and complex,
people
,
especially
youngsters, tend to be
rely
on one another.
For instance
, the rents, properties, food
and others
daily life needs are at exorbitant prices.
Furthermore
, due to
people’s
busy schedule and high ambition, they need to socialize and
get
to know
people
from
different
walks of life and this creates a wider circle in which
people’s
interaction and reliance on each
other
increase.

On the
other
hand, it is undeniable that the era which grows day in day out, made
some
changes
in our
lives and
it
lead
us to more self-dependent individuals. The progress of the technology has made us more
self-reliant and
we
love
to take advantages of the modern tools and devices to
make
things of our
own
.
For instance
,
many
people
these days pick an online lesson than getting admitted to a training institute.
Many
of us even have the freedom to work from home and this is an obvious shift in the way we earn our living.

To wrap it up, as discussed above, I
am convinced
that
people
have become more independent,
in spite of
their dependence on others in certain aspects.
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IELTS essay Some people think that in the modern world we are more dependent on each other, while others think that people have become more independent.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
246 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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