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Some people think that in order to protect the environment, we should reduce air travel. Do you agree or disagree? v.2

Some people think that in order to protect the environment, we should reduce air travel. v. 2
There has been considerable debate on the environmental impact of aviation. It is sometimes suggested that air travel should be reduced in order to protect the environment. In my opinion, despite some advantages it brings about, I somewhat advocate this suggestion. To begin with, it goes without saying that air travel holds a numbers of benefits over car, train, ship travel. For long hauls such as transoceanic flight, air travel is unquestionably the fastest way to get to your destination. Whereas, travelling by ship might take one week in comparison with hours offered by plane, which means this costs you more time and poses some drawbacks especially in business. Another benefit is that passengers often feel more comfortable when they use services offered by airlines rather than other alternatives. For example, they can stretch their legs during the trip or can be provided free beverage, which makes the travel more enjoyable. Nevertheless, there should be no doubt that air travelling is one of the biggest contributions to environment pollution. Since aircraft engines emit a huge amount of carbon dioxide, noise, greenhouse gases into the Earth's atmosphere, they inevitably result in the acceleration of global warming. In addition to gases released from combustion engines, gases emissions from ground airport activities, for example, the manufacture of aircraft or the construction of airport infrastructure, also lead to global warming that mainly causes the climate change these days. If people fly less, the environment will be protected. In conclusion, aviation obviously provide much comfort for the passengers when they travel, however, it also adversely affect our environment. Therefore until an eco-friendly air transportation options are available, I recommend we should cut back on air travel in order to protect our planet
There has been considerable debate on the environmental impact of aviation. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
suggested that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
in order to protect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
. In my opinion, despite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages it brings about, I somewhat advocate this suggestion.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it goes without saying that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
holds
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a number" or simply "numbers"?
a numbers
of benefits over car, train, ship
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
. For long hauls such as transoceanic flight,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
is
unquestionably
the fastest way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to your destination. Whereas, travelling by ship might take one week
in comparison
with hours offered by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plane
, which means this costs you more time and poses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks
especially
in business. Another benefit is that passengers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
feel more comfortable when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
services offered by airlines
rather
than other alternatives.
For example
, they can stretch their legs during the trip or can
be provided
free beverage, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
more enjoyable.

Nevertheless
, there should be no doubt that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
travelling is one of the biggest contributions to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
pollution. Since aircraft engines emit a huge amount of carbon dioxide, noise, greenhouse gases into the Earth's atmosphere, they
inevitably
result in the acceleration of global warming.
In addition
to gases released from combustion engines, gases emissions from ground airport activities,
for example
, the manufacture of aircraft or the construction of airport infrastructure,
also
lead to global warming that
mainly
causes the climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
these days. If
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
fly
less, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
will
be protected
.

In conclusion
, aviation
obviously
provide much comfort for the passengers when they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
,
however
, it
also
adversely
affect our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
until an eco-friendly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
transportation options are available, I recommend we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
back on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
in order to protect our
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
planet
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that in order to protect the environment, we should reduce air travel. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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