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The air we breathe has a major impact on our health and the environment. However, the air pollution is constantly growing and at current levels it can be fought only globally. That is to say, individual efforts to improve air quality will not give any results, and it's solely responsibility of our governments to reduce air pollution. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

The air we breathe has a major impact on our health and the environment. However, the air pollution is constantly growing and at current levels it can be fought only globally. That is to say, individual efforts to improve air quality will not give any results, and it's solely responsibility of our governments to reduce air pollution. v. 1
In the last decades the level of the pollution of the air is increasing following a very dangerous trend. It is argued that only a massive action from all the governments around the world could change the current situation that is negatively affecting people’s health and the environment, on a global scale. I completely agree with this opinion. First of all, even if it is very important to engage people’s around the world consciousness, only a systematic change of the actual economic mode of production can save the planet. The economy is one of the biggest part of every country’s political focus. In other words, only governments can impose to industries and factories a revolutionary and green way of production. For instance, scientific reports attest that the transportation by flights is one of the activities that pollute the air the most. In this particular case, as in many others, only a common and global agreement can change the disruptive trend. For example, reducing private flights and promoting environmentally friendly ways of moving. Furthermore, the air pollution is not a local problem. The level of pollution of the atmosphere doesn’t recognize countries’ geopolitical boundaries. On the contrary, it affects all the corners of the earth. Once the planet is destroyed by someone, even if he or she lives in another continent, it is gone for all. As a matter of fact, if only few states around the world commit themselves in a massive action to clean the air, their efforts would be useless if the closest country doesn’t do the same. In conclusion, I strongly believe that in order to save the planet earth every governments should take part in a global action.
In the last decades the level of the pollution of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
is increasing following a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
trend. It
is argued
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
a massive action from all the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
around the world could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
situation
that is
negatively
affecting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s health and the environment, on a global scale. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this opinion.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, even if it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to engage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s around the world consciousness,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
a systematic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
of the actual economic mode of production can save the planet. The economy is one of the biggest part of every country’s political focus.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
can impose to industries and factories a revolutionary and green way of production.
For instance
, scientific reports attest that the transportation by flights is one of the activities that pollute the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
the most. In this particular case, as in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
others,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
a common and global agreement can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the disruptive trend.
For example
, reducing private flights and promoting
environmentally
friendly ways of moving.

Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
pollution is not a local problem. The level of pollution of the atmosphere doesn’t recognize countries’ geopolitical boundaries.
On the contrary
, it affects all the corners of the earth. Once the planet is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
by someone, even if he or she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in another continent, it
is gone
for all. As a matter of fact, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
few states around the world commit themselves in a massive action to clean the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
, their efforts would be useless if the closest country doesn’t do the same.

In conclusion
, I
strongly
believe that in order to save the planet earth every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "government"?
governments
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in a global action.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay The air we breathe has a major impact on our health and the environment. However, the air pollution is constantly growing and at current levels it can be fought only globally. That is to say, individual efforts to improve air quality will not give any results, and it's solely responsibility of our governments to reduce air pollution. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
282 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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