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Some people think that in order to protect the environment, we should reduce air travel. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people think that in order to protect the environment, we should reduce air travel. v. 1
Many people have been increasingly concerned about the harmful effects of the increasing volume air transport. I strongly agree that we should reduce air travel in order to safeguard the environment. To begin with, the increasing demand for air travel has significantly contributed to environmental damage and global warming. Compared to other modes of transport, such as cars or trains, planes account for the highest level of carbon dioxide emissions released to the atmosphere. In effect, the huge increase in air pollution, with bad effects on human and animal health, is significantly due to the rapid growth in air transport. What is more, exhaust fumes from planes are also the greatest source of greenhouse gases leading to global warming and climate change which are perhaps the greatest threat to life on earth. There are those who argue, however, that air travel is essential for global commerce and business people. They point out that in such case passengers cannot depend on other means of transport and the benefits of travelling by air are indisputable. Nonetheless, it is my belief that such alternatives as teleconferencing can reduce the need for business flights. In addition, advocates of the aviation industry claim that a number of measures have been being taken to reduce the amount of carbon emissions by modern aircraft. However, the potential for eco-friendly flying looks rather limited because of the huge time, cost and coordinated effort needed to bring it about. It is therefore an impractical solution for the immediate and urgent problem of reducing pollution and climate change. Taking these points into consideration, I agree that there should be reduction in the use of air traveling if human beings want to avoid destroying the environment in which they live.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have been
increasingly
concerned about the harmful effects of the increasing volume
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
travel in order to safeguard the environment.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the increasing demand for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
travel has
significantly
contributed to environmental damage and global warming. Compared to other modes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
, such as cars or trains,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
planes
account for the highest level of carbon dioxide emissions released to the atmosphere. In effect, the huge increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
pollution, with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effects on human and animal health, is
significantly
due to the rapid growth in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
.
What is more
, exhaust fumes from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
planes
are
also
the greatest source of greenhouse gases leading to global warming and climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
which are perhaps the greatest threat to life on earth.

There are those who argue,
however
, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
travel is essential for global commerce and business
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. They point out that in such case passengers cannot depend on other means of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
and the benefits of travelling by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
are indisputable. Nonetheless, it is my belief that such alternatives as teleconferencing can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the need for business flights.
In addition
, advocates of the aviation industry claim that a number of measures have been
being taken
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the amount of carbon emissions by modern aircraft.
However
, the potential for eco-friendly flying looks
rather
limited
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the huge time, cost and coordinated effort needed to bring it about. It is
therefore
an impractical solution for the immediate and urgent problem of reducing pollution and climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.

Taking these points into consideration, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that there should be reduction in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
traveling if human beings want to avoid destroying the environment in which they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that in order to protect the environment, we should reduce air travel. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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