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Many people think that cheap air travel should be encouraged because it gives ordinary people freedom to travel further. However, others think this leads to environmental problems. So air travel should be more expensive in order to discourage people from having it. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Many people think that cheap air travel should be encouraged because it gives ordinary people freedom to travel further. However, others think this leads to environmental problems. So air travel should be more expensive in order to discourage people from having it. v. 1
The people share a common discourse over a role of public transportation, relating to a price of air transporter agencies. This argument divides the people into two campuses, proponents and opponents. The Proponents believe that it is important for these ticket prices to be affordable for everyone. However, there is an another vision says that a depending on public transportation escalates a phenomenon of the green house. Firstly, there are two reasons why the supportive side adamantly supports the affordable prices for these tickets. Firstly, it needlessly to says that people like to travel for logical reasons. In terms of the humanitarian, if there some labours, working in blue-collar jobs, and getting low wage, could not be able to pay a high fee for these tickets. While if these companies reduced their price for their customers, it would help these works. Secondly, it is not surprising that the public transport participates in fighting the global warming. For example, when thousands of people share with a motor, and buses, they would reduce the emission of carbon dioxide accused as an intrinsic reason of global warming. On the other hand, it is also worthwhile to note that sceptical side has adverse opinion, supporting their vision with rationale reasons. Firstly, this type of transportation leads to several catastrophic pollution crises. In terms of air pollution, the aircraft emits a lot of contaminated gas destructing any active campaigns to reduce the gas pollution. Moreover, If the world neglected this, it would lead to serious issues. This reason why the ice and glacier in the North and the South poles of the earth is melting, this situation will destroy some cities in our world, if we do not take urgent action. In conclusion, it truly says that the cheapest ticket for air transport will encourage people to travel, but also it carries inherent risks.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
share a common discourse over a role of public transportation, relating to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of air transporter agencies. This argument divides the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
into two campuses, proponents and opponents. The Proponents believe that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ticket
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
to be affordable for everyone.
However
, there is
One of these determiners is redundant in this context. Choose only one: "a vision" or "another vision".
an another vision
says that a depending on public transportation escalates a phenomenon of the green
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.

Firstly
, there are two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why the supportive side
adamantly
supports the affordable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
for these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tickets
.
Firstly
, it
needlessly
to says that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to travel for logical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
. In terms of the humanitarian, if there
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake. 'labours' is British English.
labours
, working in blue-collar jobs, and getting low wage, could not be able to pay a high fee for these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tickets
. While if these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
for their customers, it would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
these works.
Secondly
, it is not surprising that the public transport participates in fighting the global warming.
For example
, when thousands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
share with a motor, and buses, they would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the emission of carbon dioxide accused as an intrinsic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
of global warming.

On the other hand
, it is
also
worthwhile to note that
Possible spelling mistake. 'sceptical' is British English.
sceptical
side has adverse opinion, supporting their vision with rationale
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
.
Firstly
, this type of transportation leads to several catastrophic pollution crises. In terms of air pollution, the aircraft emits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
contaminated gas destructing any active campaigns to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the gas pollution.
Moreover
, If the world neglected this, it would lead to serious issues. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
why the ice and glacier in the North and the South poles of the earth is melting, this situation will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cities in our world, if we do not take urgent action.

In conclusion
, it
truly
says that the cheapest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ticket
for air transport will encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to travel,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it carries inherent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people think that cheap air travel should be encouraged because it gives ordinary people freedom to travel further. However, others think this leads to environmental problems. So air travel should be more expensive in order to discourage people from having it. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
309 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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