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Some people think that illegal Internet downloads are having a negative effect on the music industry. Others feel that they have little or no impact on artists. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion v.3

Some people think that illegal Internet downloads are having a negative effect on the music industry. Others feel that they have little or no impact on artists. 3
Although, it is considered by many that the art field is having an adverse effect due to unofficial download made by users through the internet; however, others argue that this has minimal impact on artists. Both sides of the argument are discussed in the progressive paragraphs along with my opinion. Among the many arguments put forward by those who support the former view, perhaps, the most plausible one is related to reduction in sales of the particular album. To be more precise, increasing number of illegal ways used to obtain musical albums hinder the selling of originals composed by the artists, which ultimately demotivates them to create various art in the future. For instance, a recent survey has conducted that sales of the music companies have declined due to increase in piracy among the users. Furthermore, originality of musicians can be copied by others in order to achieve fame and money. Therefore, unofficial source of gathering the melodies must be restricted so that musician will get encouraged. On the other hand, the first and foremost suggestions put forward by claimers of the latter view is the funds obtain through various online sources. This is to say that musical composers receive a handsome amount of money when the viewers watch their composition on online platform such as YouTube. For example, T-series upload their albums on different online platform and has achieved the highest number of subscribers which has boosted their income. Moreover, artists are sound people and such offences does not restrict them to achieve their desire goal. Hence, unofficial sources do not affect musician. In conclusion, a majority of individuals believe that illegal downloads do not affect the ability of Music Industry whereas others including myself elevates the idea of neglecting those small hurdles and focusing on their goal.
Although, it
is considered
by
many
that the art field is having an adverse effect due to unofficial download made by users through the internet;
however
, others argue that this has minimal impact on artists. Both sides of the argument
are discussed
in the progressive paragraphs along with my opinion.

Among the
many
arguments put forward by those who support the former view, perhaps, the most plausible one
is related
to reduction in sales of the particular album. To be more precise, increasing number of illegal ways
used
to obtain musical albums hinder the selling of originals composed by the artists, which
ultimately
demotivates them to create various art in the future.
For instance
, a recent survey has conducted that sales of the music
companies
have declined due to increase in piracy among the users.
Furthermore
, originality of musicians can
be copied
by others in order to achieve fame and money.
Therefore
, unofficial source of gathering the melodies
must
be restricted
so
that musician will
get
encouraged.

On the
other
hand, the
first
and foremost suggestions put forward by claimers of the latter view is the funds obtain through various online sources. This is to say that musical composers receive a handsome amount of money when the viewers
watch
their composition on online platform such as YouTube.
For example
, T-series upload their albums on
different
online platform and has achieved the highest number of subscribers which has boosted their income.
Moreover
, artists are sound
people
and such
offences
does not restrict them to achieve their desire goal.
Hence
, unofficial sources do not affect musician.

In conclusion
, a majority of individuals believe that illegal downloads do not affect the ability of Music Industry whereas others including myself elevates the
idea
of neglecting those
small
hurdles and focusing on their goal.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that illegal Internet downloads are having a negative effect on the music industry. Others feel that they have little or no impact on artists. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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