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In many countries, a small number of people earn extremely high salaries. Some people believe that this is good for the country, but others think that governments should not allow salaries above a certain level. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words. v.13

In many countries, a small number of people earn extremely high salaries. Some people believe that this is good for the country, but others think that governments should not allow salaries above a certain level. v. 13
High earnings of small group in many countries appear to be beneficial for the country’s economy, I strongly disagree with those who make the statement by saying salaries should be in certain level. First of all when it comes to a county’s recession, the flow of cash makes an impact. People who obtain high wage are those who dealing with expensive things such as cars, houses, shopping and much more. For instant, a person who purchases an expensive car producing a chain benefits for those who dealing in business and for government by paying an amount of tax through those processes, at the result grows the country’s care by those who invested in businesses. On the other hand, people who are in high salaries are those who spend almost half of their life by conducting studies and professional curriculum activities to reach a high level, for example, in the United Kingdom a person who spend lots of money for studies will support the homey by paying fees, in completion getting high salaries after getting into a high position and paying salary tax to the government. Meanwhile, those who debating on certain limitations are the one who really had bad impact on them and those are who destroying the rustic and its direction. For an instant, I had an experience while I was working in the United Kingdom, had college who depends on a limited salary who focus on sending money back home while obtaining jobs and spending his time in overseas, that money is taken out from the county instead of spending locally and helping to grow. In sum, I strongly believe that individuals with high salary in playing a major role in the development of the nation.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
High
earnings of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
group in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries appear to be beneficial for the country’s economy, I
strongly
disagree with those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the statement by saying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
should be in certain level.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to a county’s recession, the flow of cash
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
an impact.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
obtain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
wage are those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
dealing with expensive things such as cars,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
, shopping and much more. For instant, a person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
an expensive car producing a chain benefits for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
dealing in business and for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
by paying an amount of tax through those processes, at the result grows the country’s care by those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
invested in businesses.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
are those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
spend almost half of their life by conducting studies and professional curriculum activities to reach a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
level,
for example
, in the United Kingdom a person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
spend lots of money for studies will support the homey by paying fees, in completion getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
after getting into a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
position and paying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
tax to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.

Meanwhile, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
debating on certain limitations are the one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
really
had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impact on them and those are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
destroying the rustic and its direction. For an instant, I had an experience while I was working in the United Kingdom, had college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
depends on a limited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
focus on sending money back home while obtaining jobs and spending his time in overseas, that money
is taken
out from the county
instead
of spending
locally
and helping to grow.

In sum, I
strongly
believe that individuals with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
in playing a major role in the development of the nation.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS essay In many countries, a small number of people earn extremely high salaries. Some people believe that this is good for the country, but others think that governments should not allow salaries above a certain level. v. 13

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
288 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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