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Some people think that economic development is the only way to end poverty while others believe that it is causing damage to the environment and so should be stopped. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.3

Some people think that economic development is the only way to end poverty while others believe that it is causing damage to the environment and so should be stopped. v. 3
Some people say that economic growth can eradicate poverty. Others opine that economic development causes environmental damage and hence it should be discouraged. In my opinion, environmental protection is of paramount importance and hence economic growth should be restricted. A good reason to stop economic growth is to protect the environment from getting polluted by its harmful by-products. In other words, economic growth needs the establishment of many factories which emit obnoxious gases into the atmosphere and discharge other pollutants into the soil and water. If untreated, these by-products cause huge environmental complications. For instance, the demand for electricity rises due to high economic growth; the majority of power plants in the world use fossil fuels to produce electricity and thus cause considerable damage to the environment. Another critical reason to protect the environment and discourage economic growth is the lack of any substantial evidence to prove that economic growth eradicates poverty. To put it in another way, billions of people are still living under poverty even after many decades of economic development, casting doubt on the role of economic growth in removing poverty. For example, years of economic growth has made rich people richer and poor people are still struggling for the basic necessities of life. Moreover, with the advancement of technologies less manual work is required in factories and hence fewer job opportunities are available although economy is developing. Obviously, economic growth chiefly benefits the affluent and does hardly anything for the poorest sections of the society. In conclusion, sacrificing the environment for the sake of economic development is not a wise step, especially, when it is doubtful whether economic development can eradicate poverty.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
can eradicate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
. Others opine that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
causes environmental damage and
hence
it should
be discouraged
. In my opinion, environmental protection is of paramount importance and
hence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
should
be restricted
.

A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
reason to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
is to protect the environment from getting polluted by its harmful by-products.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
needs the establishment of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factories which emit obnoxious gases into the atmosphere and discharge other pollutants into the soil and water. If untreated, these by-products cause huge environmental complications.
For instance
, the demand for electricity rises due to high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
; the majority of power plants in the world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
fossil fuels to produce electricity and
thus
cause considerable damage to the environment.

Another critical reason to protect the environment and discourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
is the lack of any substantial evidence to prove that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
eradicates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
. To put it in another way, billions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
still
living under
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
even after
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
decades of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
, casting doubt on the role of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
in removing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
.
For example
, years of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
has made rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
richer and poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
still
struggling for the
Consider using "necessities".
basic necessities
of life.
Moreover
, with the advancement of technologies less manual work
is required
in factories and
hence
fewer job opportunities are available although economy is developing.
Obviously
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
chiefly
benefits the affluent and does hardly anything for the poorest sections of the society.

In conclusion
, sacrificing the environment for the sake of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
is not a wise step,
especially
, when it is doubtful whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
can eradicate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
37Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
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Persian Proverb

IELTS essay Some people think that economic development is the only way to end poverty while others believe that it is causing damage to the environment and so should be stopped. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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