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Some people think that illegal Internet downloads are having a negative effect on the music industry. Others feel that they have little or no impact on artists. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion. v.4

Some people think that illegal Internet downloads are having a negative effect on the music industry. Others feel that they have little or no impact on artists. v. 4
A generation ago people are lining-up to their nearest audio store to buy the latest album of their favourite artist. Nowadays, illegal downloading of songs or albums from the internet has become a trend. Although some people believe that these activities won’t affect the artist, I think that it will impact the music industry negatively. On the other hand, it still a discussion that artist will not be financially affected by illegal downloads. Some people believe that they have multiple source of income. For instance, they have these concert tours, television guesting and endorsements. Therefore, as long as people continue listening to them either legal or illegal means, they still be famous and able to earn their living somewhere else. On the other hand, I believe that this will significantly affect the music sector as a whole. In my opinion, a lot of production studios may not be sustainable if consumers do not pay for their products. Recordings incur high production costs because it involves many professionals such as singers and composers. If they do not have enough compensation due to illegal downloading, they will not be able to survive in this competitive market in the long term. I also think that this will discourage them to spend hours on creating good music for their audience. They may feel that their songs are not appreciated and therefore, de-motivated to continue composing wonderful songs and quit their jobs. In conclusion, although many artists do not rely only on one source of income, I still believe that downloading online without paying for it will cause the whole industry to slow down and production studios will not survive in the future.
A generation ago
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are lining-up to their nearest audio store to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the latest album of their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artist
. Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illegal
downloading of songs or albums from the internet has become a trend. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that these activities won’t affect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artist
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it will impact the music industry
negatively
.

On the other hand
, it
still
a discussion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artist
will not be
financially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illegal
downloads.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that they have multiple source of income.
For instance
, they have these concert tours, television guesting and endorsements.
Therefore
, as long as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
continue listening to them either legal or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illegal
means, they
still
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
and able to earn their living somewhere else.

On the other hand
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that this will
significantly
affect the music sector as a whole. In my opinion,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
production studios may not be sustainable if consumers do not pay for their products. Recordings incur high production costs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it involves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
professionals such as singers and composers. If they do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
compensation due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illegal
downloading, they will not be able to survive in this competitive market in the long term. I
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that this will discourage them to spend hours on creating
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
music for their audience. They may feel that their songs are not appreciated and
therefore
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
de-motivated
to continue composing wonderful songs and quit their jobs.

In conclusion
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
do not rely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on one source of income, I
still
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that downloading online without paying for it will cause the whole industry to slow down and production studios will not survive in the future.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
The limits of my language are the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay Some people think that illegal Internet downloads are having a negative effect on the music industry. Others feel that they have little or no impact on artists. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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