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Some people think that illegal Internet downloads are having a negative effect on the music industry. Others feel that have little or no impact on artists. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion. v.1

Some people think that illegal Internet downloads are having a negative effect on the music industry. Others feel that have little or no impact on artists. v. 1
Although, in this year of digitalization, many believe that downloading fresh videos do not have a direct impact on artists while some yet think this has highly impacted the music production house. This essay will discuss both the views and present strong support for the notion that music producers are in threat zone due to the presence of free download apps and websites. First and foremost, un-paid version of mobile apps and websites are gaining popularity. This is because users or buyers for paid versions are attracted by free user-friendly apps like “Tube Mate” where they can download any stuff without any restrictions. This trend has raised a curiosity in youngsters and adults that harm the niche market of these industries. For example, music accessories like CD players, DVDs, home theatres are not in demand these days. Consequently, this acts as repercussions for music and film producers through financial loss due to decreasing numbers of paid-downloads and purchases. However, actors work on a contractual basis. Once the concept is ready, the artists do not have to do anything with the profit or loss the song has made. Will this mean actors do not have to bear any consequences even though videos are illegally downloaded? Well, it has been observed that their success or failure only evaluated by views, likes, comments, and shares on their videos. For instance, a South Indian actress gained fame overnight as the video was viral because of her eye-catching facial expressions. Thus, a character only gets judged on acting skill so they are not directly affected due to the marketing of their videos. In conclusion, while unethical download has drastically affected the music industry, I believe actors do not have to bear any consequences of this.
Although, in this year of digitalization,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
believe that downloading fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
videos
do not have a direct impact on artists while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
yet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this has
highly
impacted the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
production
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
. This essay will discuss both the views and present strong support for the notion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
producers are in threat zone due to the presence of free download apps and websites.

First
and foremost,
Possible spelling mistake found.
un-paid
version of mobile apps and websites are gaining popularity. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
users or buyers for paid versions
are attracted
by free user-friendly apps like “Tube Mate” where they can download any stuff without any restrictions. This trend has raised a curiosity in youngsters and adults that harm the niche market of these industries.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
accessories like CD players, DVDs, home
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatres' is British English.
theatres
are not in demand these days.
Consequently
, this acts as repercussions for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and film producers through financial loss due to decreasing numbers of paid-downloads and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
.

However
, actors work on a contractual basis. Once the concept is ready, the artists do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do anything with the profit or loss the song has made. Will this mean actors do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
bear any consequences
even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
videos
are
illegally
downloaded? Well, it has
been observed
that their success or failure
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
evaluated by views, likes, comments, and shares on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
videos
.
For instance
, a South Indian actress gained fame overnight as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
was viral
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of her eye-catching facial expressions.
Thus
, a character
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
judged on acting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they are not
directly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
due to the marketing of their videos.

In conclusion
, while unethical download has
drastically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
industry, I believe actors do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
bear any consequences of this.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that illegal Internet downloads are having a negative effect on the music industry. Others feel that have little or no impact on artists. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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