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Most countries have traditional celebrations that ocur annually. İn Your opininon, what benefits do these celebrations have for society? Support your opinion with reasons and examples from your own knowladge or experience. v.1

Most countries have traditional celebrations that ocur annually. İn Your opininon, what benefits do these celebrations have for society? Support your opinion with reasons and examples from your own knowladge or experience. v. 1
People in many countries around the world, come together, once a year to participate in cultural festivals. These annual festivals not only serve as a platform for people to unite and socialise but, it also binds people to his/her roots and traditions. Additionally, these yearly celebrations, allows men, women and children take a break from their hectic professional and study schedules and socialise with friends and family. This essay will discuss the ways in which these traditional festivals have a positive effect on the society. Firstly, during an annual celebration, people from all over the country unite and bond merrily with each other. Once a year, everyone gets a chance to dress up, party, meet distant relatives, children visit their grandparents, neighbours come together and celebrate this time of togetherness by participating certain religious activities and having meals jointly. For example, in Japan, every year in the month of April, children, old people, co-workers, and youngsters socialise and visit parks, go to fairs, have traditional Japanese meals together during the annual celebration of the 'Hanami' (cherry blossom) festival. These yearly traditional festivals allow people to bond happily and enjoy together and this promotes a certain sense of togetherness and integration. Secondly, the cultural events, emphasises on traditional and religious values. In the modern era of globalisation and technical developments, the youth gets very little opportunity to learn and practice their cultural beliefs, but during an annual celebration, boys and girls dress up in traditional attires, perform religious rituals which strengthen their attachment to their roots. For instance, in India, during 'Durgapuja', which is one of the biggest and most famous religious events of the country, young girls get adorned with 'Sarees' and other Indian costumes, young boys prepare traditional Indian meals for their neighbourhood, and everyone gets an opportunity to learn about the importance of Goddess Durga and the ancient Hindu mythologies. The yearly celebrations serve as an excellent platform, for the entire society, especially youngsters, to practice their traditional values and morals. To conclude, most nations on earth observe annual traditions and cultural festivals. People get an occasion to set aside all assignments, and projects, to unite and enjoy with their friends and families, distant relatives and neighbours. As well as, these celebrations also highlight the importance of culture and restores our faith on familial, traditional and religious values. Such events have a lot of benefit and positive impact on the younger generation and the society as a whole.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries around the world,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
together, once a year to participate in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festivals
. These annual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festivals
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
serve as a platform for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to unite and
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialise' is British English.
socialise
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, it
also
binds
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to his/her roots and traditions.
Additionally
, these yearly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrations
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
, women and children take a break from their hectic professional and study schedules and
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialise' is British English.
socialise
with friends and family. This essay will discuss the ways in which these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festivals
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect on the society.

Firstly
, during an annual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebration
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from all over the country unite and bond
merrily
with each other. Once a year, everyone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gets
a chance to dress up, party,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
distant relatives, children visit their grandparents,
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
together and celebrate this time of togetherness by participating certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
religious
activities and having meals
jointly
.
For example
, in Japan, every year in the month of April, children,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, co-workers, and youngsters
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialise' is British English.
socialise
and visit parks, go to fairs, have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
Japanese meals together during the annual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebration
of the '
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hanami
' (cherry blossom)
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festival
.
Did you mean "this yearly" or "These yearlies"?
These yearly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festivals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to bond
happily
and enjoy together and this promotes a certain sense of togetherness and integration.

Secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
,
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "emphases", the plural form of the noun 'emphasis'?
emphasises
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
religious
values. In the modern era of
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
and technical developments, the youth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gets
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
opportunity to learn and practice their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
beliefs,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
during an annual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebration
, boys and girls dress up in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
attires, perform
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
religious
rituals which strengthen their attachment to their roots.
For instance
, in India, during '
Possible spelling mistake found.
Durgapuja
', which is one of the biggest and most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
religious
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
of the country, young girls
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
get
adorned with 'Sarees' and other Indian costumes, young boys prepare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
Indian meals for their
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
, and everyone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gets
an opportunity to learn about the importance of Goddess
Possible spelling mistake found.
Durga
and the ancient Hindu mythologies. The yearly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrations
serve as an excellent platform, for the entire society,
especially
youngsters, to practice their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
values and morals.

To conclude
, most nations on earth observe annual traditions and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festivals
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
get
an occasion to set aside all assignments, and projects, to unite and enjoy with their friends and families, distant relatives and
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
.
As well
as, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrations
also
highlight the importance of culture and restores our faith on familial,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
religious
values. Such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
benefit and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on the younger generation and the society as a whole.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
41Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Mistakes

IELTS essay Most countries have traditional celebrations that ocur annually. İn Your opininon, what benefits do these celebrations have for society? Support your opinion with reasons and examples from your own knowladge or experience. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
410 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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