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Some people think that illegal Internet downloads are having a negative effect on the music industry. Others feel that they have little or no impact on artists. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion v.2

Some people think that illegal Internet downloads are having a negative effect on the music industry. Others feel that they have little or no impact on artists. 2
Today the vast majority of people will download anything whatever they want through the Internet. However, having illegal downloading using the internet affected badly in the music industry? While some believe it has, I strongly believe it has not. On the one that, it could be thought that music industries are tremendously impacted by using the illegal downloading system. As it deters end users from buying CDs’ and DVD’s, which is the main source of the income for the music industry. For example, if listeners want to get download their preferable song within a second, they are able to do it through an illegal website. As a result, music industries have to bear deficit. Moreover, it could be argued that artists which are hired by such companies, they also spend hours to give their best to the audience, but due to illegal downloading such artists get de-motivated from their work. Consequently, it directly affects their income. However, I believe that there are many arguments to suggest that music organisations do not have to bear any loss by illegal internet downloading. nowadays, the internet is the biggest platform to depict different skills and talents possessed by different people. Anyone can post their videos without worrying about their earnings. This is because some social websites like YouTube and Facebook provide an opportunity to earn money by uploading videos. The more viewers of the video, the more points will be allocated, and after a certain limit, such websites imparted money to the video maker. So in my opinion, artists have no impact on any illegal internet downloading. Since views and likes is enough to foster their skills to continue their talent. In conclusion, although it is undeniable that increased utilization of illegal downloading through internet discourages music firms, other social websites offer opportunities for them by depicting their skills and that will be with extending chances that apply to anyone in the world. Therefore, on balance, I believe that music companies are not impacted by illegal downloading.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
the vast majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will download anything whatever they want through the Internet.
However
, having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illegal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
downloading
using the internet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
badly
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
? While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
it has, I
strongly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
it has not.

On the one that, it could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
are
tremendously
impacted by using the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illegal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
downloading
system. As it deters
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
users from buying CDs’ and DVD’s, which is the main source of the income for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
.
For example
, if listeners want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
download their preferable song within a second, they are able to do it through an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illegal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
website
.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
bear deficit.
Moreover
, it could
be argued
that artists which
are hired
by such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, they
also
spend hours to give their best to the audience,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illegal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
downloading
such artists
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Possible spelling mistake found.
de-motivated
from their work.
Consequently
, it
directly
affects their income.

However
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
arguments to suggest that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
bear any loss by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illegal
internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
downloading
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
nowadays
, the internet is the biggest platform to depict
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and talents possessed by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. Anyone can post their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
videos
without worrying about their earnings. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
social websites like YouTube and Facebook provide an opportunity to earn money by uploading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
videos
. The more viewers of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
, the more points will
be allocated
, and after a certain limit, such websites imparted money to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
maker.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
in my opinion, artists have no impact on any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illegal
internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
downloading
. Since views and likes is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to foster their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to continue their talent.

In conclusion
, although it is undeniable that increased utilization of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illegal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
downloading
through internet discourages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
firms, other social websites offer opportunities for them by depicting their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and that will be with extending chances that apply to anyone in the world.
Therefore
, on balance, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are not impacted by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illegal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
downloading
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
35Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
The limits of my language mean the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay Some people think that illegal Internet downloads are having a negative effect on the music industry. Others feel that they have little or no impact on artists. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
334 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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