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Some people think that higher institutions should concentrate more on academic subjects such as history e and physical science while others say that they should concentrate on practical subject such as mechanics and cookery etc. Discuss both views and give your opinion v.2

Some people think that higher institutions should concentrate more on academic subjects such as history e and physical science while others say that they should concentrate on practical subject such as mechanics and cookery etc. 2
It is often argued that students should abandon their academic studies at universities and instead opt for taking a course. While enrolling at a vocational training institute gangsters can start earning earlier, I believe that formal education is required to acquire a well-paid job. On the one hand, inculcating practical skills helps people gain employment within a short span of time. Many individuals these days are unable to finance their tertiary education at a college, given the exorbitant amount of tuition and examination fees. Therefore, undertaking vocational course confers them an opportunity to learn some useful skills to help support the financial situation of their homes. Skill India, an initiative the government of India to assist marginalised young ones imbibe techniques to start their own small scale business or bag a job in various disciplines- cooking, welding and carpentry to name a few, has aided more than a million people to meet both ends. I, however, believe that these courses do not help adults get white collar jobs because of no academic degree in their field. On the other hand, it is sometimes thought that studying at a tertiary education institute equips students with academic knowledge to kick-start their lucrative career. Most of high positions in multinational companies are reserved for a person who has passed formal exams in the respective fields. Ever business, for example, seeks for a candidate with a management degree as a one of the prerequisites before recruiting for the managerial take. Therefore, I think that by studying academic subjects a person has a better chance of getting more. In conclusion, although doing a course in practical subjects can help people get employed in the quickest possible time, I believe that pursuing a degree at formal education institutes assist youngsters secure high remunerations
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that students should abandon their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
studies at universities and
instead
opt for taking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
. While enrolling at a vocational training institute gangsters can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
earning earlier, I believe that formal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is required
to acquire a well-paid job.

On the one hand, inculcating practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
gain employment within a short span of time.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
individuals these days are unable to finance their tertiary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
at a college,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the exorbitant amount of tuition and examination fees.
Therefore
, undertaking vocational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
confers them an opportunity to learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
useful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
support the financial situation of their homes.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Skill
India, an initiative the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
of India to assist
Possible spelling mistake. 'marginalised' is British English.
marginalised
young ones imbibe techniques to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
scale business or bag a job in various disciplines- cooking, welding and carpentry to name a few, has aided more than a million
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
both ends. I,
however
, believe that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
adults
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
white collar jobs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
degree in their field.

On the other hand
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that studying at a tertiary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
institute equips students with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
knowledge to kick-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their lucrative career.
Consider using "Most high" or "Most of the high".
Most of high
positions in multinational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are reserved
for a person who has passed formal exams in the respective fields.
The adverb 'Ever' is usually not used at the beginning of a sentence.
Ever
business,
for example
, seeks for a candidate with a management degree as a one of the prerequisites
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
recruiting for the managerial take.
Therefore
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that by studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
subjects a person has a better chance of getting more.

In conclusion
, although doing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
in practical subjects can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
employed in the quickest possible time, I believe that pursuing a degree at formal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
institutes assist youngsters secure high remunerations
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that higher institutions should concentrate more on academic subjects such as history e and physical science while others say that they should concentrate on practical subject such as mechanics and cookery etc. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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