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Some people believe that more academic subjects such as chemistry, physics and history should be taught in schools, while others believe that students will derive more benefit from studying practical subjects such as motor mechanics and cooking. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.2

Some people believe that more academic subjects such as chemistry, physics and history should be taught in schools, while others believe that students will derive more benefit from studying practical subjects such as motor mechanics and cooking. v. 2
Although it is sometimes believed that schools ought to teach more of theoretical subjects, other people think that practical subjects will be more beneficial to students. In my opinion, I consider that hands-on subjects such as cooking or motor mechanics will help students acquire skills that are relevant for their financial future. On the one hand, those who say that theory based subjects are more useful to students might argue that these courses lay the foundation for innovations and inventions. This is because they expose the minds of students to intricate concepts on the workings of our world and universe and as a result they can unveil knowledge which proffer solutions to societal problems. For instance, previous studies have shown that pupils who learn world history often make competent political leaders as they understand patterns of successful and failed governments and can therefore exploit such patterns to benefit their citizens. On the other hand, others suppose and I agree, that applied learning in areas such as cooking, sewing, motor mechanics e. t. c. , is essential for students’ future financial well-being. The reason for this is that these lessons afford pupils with skills which they can exchange for money while attending college, or generally, whether they obtain tertiary education or not. For example, recent studies by the World Trade Organisation (WTO) indicate that 58% of high school graduates who become entrepreneurs, do so with the skills that they learned while schooling. In conclusion, while people may vary in their opinions, I believe that students stand a better chance of succeeding financially, if they are taught real-world subjects while in school.
Although it is
sometimes
believed that schools ought to teach more of theoretical
subjects
, other
people
think
that practical
subjects
will be more beneficial to
students
. In my opinion, I consider that hands-on
subjects
such as cooking or motor mechanics will
help
students
acquire
skills
that are relevant for their financial future.

On the one hand, those who say that theory based
subjects
are more useful to
students
might argue that these courses lay the foundation for innovations and inventions. This is
because
they expose the minds of
students
to intricate concepts on the workings of our world and universe and
as a result
they can unveil knowledge which proffer solutions to societal problems.
For instance
, previous studies have shown that pupils who learn world history
often
make
competent political leaders as they understand patterns of successful and failed
governments
and can
therefore
exploit such patterns to benefit their citizens.

On the other hand
, others suppose and I
agree
, that applied learning in areas such as cooking, sewing, motor mechanics e. t. c.
,
is essential for
students’
future financial well-being.
The reason for this is
that these lessons afford pupils with
skills
which they can exchange for money while attending college, or
generally
, whether they obtain tertiary education or not.
For example
, recent studies by the World Trade
Organisation
(WTO) indicate that 58% of high school graduates who become entrepreneurs, do
so
with the
skills
that they learned while schooling.

In conclusion
, while
people
may vary in their opinions, I believe that
students
stand a better chance of succeeding
financially
, if they
are taught
real-world
subjects
while in school.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that more academic subjects such as chemistry, physics and history should be taught in schools, while others believe that students will derive more benefit from studying practical subjects such as motor mechanics and cooking. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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