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It is generally accepted that exercise is good for children and teenagers. Therefore physical education and sports should be compulsory for all students in all schools. What do you think? v.5

It is generally accepted that exercise is good for children and teenagers. Therefore physical education and sports should be compulsory for all students in all schools. What do you think? v. 5
It is often viewed that physical activities are good for children and adolescents, hence, physical education and sports classes should be made mandatory at all schools. This essay completely agrees with that statement because compulsory classes force all students to participate in it and it would enable children to get rid of their obesity. One justification for compulsory sports classes is to encourage all children to take part in it. This is because children rather neglect the advice from their parents and teachers to keep themselves fit by doing regular exercise, instead they prefer to spent leisure time in a sedentary way such as watching television or playing computer games. If schools include physical education along with their regular academic subjects, this would compel pupil to practice exercise regularly. For example, a similar initiative in Japan resulted a 72 % increase in school children who daily attend physical education and sports classes. Another reason for mandatory physical training classes is to reduce the incidents of child obesity in children and teenagers. That is to say, overweight is more prevalent among today’s younger generation because of lack of exercise and over dependency on fast food. A compulsory inclusion of sports and physical training classes would guarantee their attendance in this and would definitely enhance the physical and mental health of students. For instance, a recent survey in the BBC reported that mandatory practice in physical education and sports in educational establishments i the UK had reduced the occurrence of child obesity in school children by almost 32%. In conclusion, exercise is good for all children, therefore, i totally agree that adding physical education and sports classes to school as a compulsory subjects is important because it promises the complete participation of all students and it helps to decrease overweight among children
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
viewed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
activities are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and adolescents,
hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
should
be made
mandatory at all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. This essay completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
with that statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
compulsory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
force all students to participate in it and it would enable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rid of their obesity.

One justification for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
compulsory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
is to encourage all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in it. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
rather
neglect the advice from their parents and teachers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
themselves fit by doing regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
,
instead
they prefer to spent leisure time
Consider replacing "in a sedentary way" with the adverb for "sedentary"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a sedentary way
such as watching television or playing computer games. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
include
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
along with their regular academic subjects, this would compel pupil to practice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
regularly
.
For example
, a similar initiative in Japan resulted a 72 % increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who daily attend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
classes.

Another reason for mandatory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
training
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the incidents of child obesity in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
.
That is
to say, overweight is more prevalent among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s younger generation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
and over dependency on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
compulsory
inclusion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
training
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
would guarantee their attendance in this and would definitely enhance the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
and mental health of students.
For instance
, a recent survey in the BBC reported that mandatory practice in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
in educational establishments i the UK had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
the occurrence of child obesity in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
by almost 32%.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
therefore
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that adding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
compulsory
subjects is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it promises the complete participation of all students and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to decrease overweight among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
48Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay It is generally accepted that exercise is good for children and teenagers. Therefore physical education and sports should be compulsory for all students in all schools. What do you think? v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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