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Some people think that computer games are bad for children, while others believe that they are useful. Discuss advantages and disadvantages of computer games and give your opinion. v.3

Some people think that computer games are bad for children, while others believe that they are useful. Discuss advantages and disadvantages of computer games and give your opinion. v. 3
Some would argue that online games are not good for kids, while others would say that it can be advantageous. While online games can improve language skills for children, I believe that it can lead to an unhealthy lifestyle. On the one hand, Computer games can teach a young one a second language from a very early age. In other words, when a child plays games with other individuals from a different country, they can learn a second language in an authentic context. This learning would be much more enjoyable compared with educational institutes as children learn faster when they enjoy it. As a result, they automatically develop a skill unknowingly which might be used as an extra skill later in life. For example, my brother developed his English language skills by playing Counter-Strike online and for that, he becomes successful at his workplace as he effectively communicated with foreign buyers. On the other hand, Internet games can force a kid to lead an unhealthy life. The addictiveness of this kind of game is so strong that some kids continue playing them for an extended period without even participating in any other activity. As a result, they lose interest to do any physical activity which leads them to gain weight. Eventually, they gain fat and develop different weight-related diseases such as breathing problems and others. For instance, according to WHO, 90 percent of urban children are suffering from obesity as they are not interested in outdoor games, which implies the dangerous side of video games. In conclusion, while games can prepare a kid for a future carrier with an extra skillset, I consider that it can ruin their health and cause them major harm.
Some
would argue that online
games
are not
good
for
kids
, while others would say that it can be advantageous. While online
games
can
improve
language
skills
for children, I believe that it can lead to an unhealthy lifestyle.

On the one hand, Computer
games
can teach a young one a second
language
from a
very
early age. In
other
words, when a child plays
games
with
other
individuals from a
different
country, they can learn a second
language
in an authentic context. This learning would be much more enjoyable compared with educational institutes as children learn faster when they enjoy it.
As a result
, they
automatically
develop a
skill
unknowingly
which might be
used
as an extra
skill
later in life.
For example
, my brother developed his English
language
skills
by playing Counter-Strike online and for that, he becomes successful at his workplace as he
effectively
communicated with foreign buyers.

On the
other
hand, Internet
games
can force a
kid
to lead an unhealthy life. The
addictiveness
of this kind of game is
so
strong that
some
kids
continue playing them for an extended period without even participating in any
other
activity.
As a result
, they lose interest to do any physical activity which leads them to gain weight.
Eventually
, they gain
fat
and develop
different
weight-related diseases such as breathing problems
and others
.
For instance
, according to
WHO
, 90 percent of urban children are suffering from obesity as they are not interested in outdoor
games
, which implies the
dangerous
side of video games.

In conclusion
, while
games
can prepare a
kid
for a future carrier with an extra
skillset
, I consider that it can ruin their health and cause them major harm.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that computer games are bad for children, while others believe that they are useful. Discuss advantages and disadvantages of computer games and give your opinion. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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