Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think that high salary is important when choosing a company to work for, while others think that good working atmosphere is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion v.4

Some people think that high salary is important when choosing a company to work for, while others think that good working atmosphere is more important. 4
It is sometimes argued that the high remuneration offer has a strong impact on individuals’ job options. While this could be true to a certain extent, I believe a congenial working environment is exceptional when taking up a career. On one side of the remonstrance, there are people who think that a high pay scale should be the most crucial factor. To begin with, because of the rapid growth of all product prices, working people who have well-paid jobs can simply handle such basic living needs as accommodation fees or utility bills. Therefore, they might support the family with better life quality in terms of meeting their living needs both physically and mentally. Moreover, with the possession of money, job-holders believe that a mouth-watering wage is also an indicator of success and advancement. This leads to employees’ devoting extra time to their jobs to gain promotions and increments. I do not think these kinds of arguments stand up to scrutiny as I am of the opinion that the best aspect of an employee is a comfortable working background. First of all, with good working situations like adequate time-off or good social support as these factors increase job satisfaction. This will intensify the productivity of companies as well as themselves. If an appointee is put under adverse working conditions, this will be likely to keep him concerned about coping up with a dead-end job. Furthermore, thanks to organizational culture and climate, social interactions among workers would be enhanced. As a result, intimate relationships will build them up psychologically As has been outlined above, there are certainly pros to high-income jobs. Nevertheless, I maintain my original position that pleasant working atmosphere is the best choice
It is
sometimes
argued that the high remuneration offer has a strong impact on individuals’
job
options. While this could be true to a certain extent, I believe a congenial
working
environment is exceptional when taking up a career.

On one side of the remonstrance, there are
people
who
think
that a high pay scale should be the most crucial factor. To
begin
with,
because
of the rapid growth of all product prices,
working
people
who have well-paid
jobs
can
simply
handle such basic living needs as accommodation fees or utility bills.
Therefore
, they might support the family with better life quality in terms of meeting their living needs both
physically
and mentally.
Moreover
, with the possession of money, job-holders believe that a mouth-watering wage is
also
an indicator of success and advancement. This leads to employees’ devoting extra time to their
jobs
to gain promotions and increments.

I do not
think
these kinds of arguments stand up to scrutiny as I am of the opinion that the best aspect of an employee is a comfortable
working
background.
First of all
, with
good
working
situations like adequate time-off or
good
social support as these factors increase
job
satisfaction. This will intensify the productivity of
companies
as well
as themselves. If an appointee
is put
under adverse
working
conditions, this will be likely to
keep
him concerned about coping up with a dead-
end
job
.
Furthermore
, thanks to organizational culture and climate, social interactions among workers would
be enhanced
.
As a result
, intimate relationships will build them up
psychologically


As has
been outlined
above, there are
certainly
pros to high-income
jobs
.
Nevertheless
, I maintain my original position that pleasant
working
atmosphere is the best choice
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that high salary is important when choosing a company to work for, while others think that good working atmosphere is more important. 4

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
282 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts