Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think that high salary is important when choosing a company to work for, while others think that good working atmosphere is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.2

Some people think that high salary is important when choosing a company to work for, while others think that good working atmosphere is more important. v. 2
In taking up a job, there are several factors to be considered, some people believe a fat salary or mouth-watering income is an important criteria, however other folks are of the opinion that the work environment is of utmost importance. In this essay I will be discussing both views and dtatimg my opinion. One one hand, those who choose a competitive salary over a good working environment are not wrong. There is a saying that "money answers all", this saying is true in our world today, take for example; in nigeria, before anyone can have a good life, the individual must be living on an income of over a hundred thousand naira per month. A good life which includes; capacity to care for loved ones and families and saving a little. Most people in nigeria live in abject poverty as a result of earning peanuts as salary, therefore to live above an average citizen, the size of salary is to be considered. On the other hand, deciding to take a job because of the working situations is not a crime rather it is an issue to be thought over. There are folks who taje home a fat salary yet do not have job satisfaction, due to the kind of environment they work in. For instance in lagos which is the centre of excellence, majority of workers there are well paid, nevertheless the hustle and bustle of this state is killing. The rate at which salary earners breakdown is alarming, whereas people who earn little in remote areas like ibadan, are able to enjoy the little they have, thus the working atmosphere is a matter to be put in consideration when opting for a job. In conclusion, in my own opinion i believe looking out for a big salary and a conducive environment, before taking a job are important factors to be considered because, both are needed for job satisfaction.
In taking up a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, there are several factors to
be considered
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
or mouth-watering income is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "criterion"?
criteria
,
however
other folks are of the opinion that the work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
is of utmost importance. In this essay I will be discussing both views and
Possible spelling mistake found.
dtatimg
my opinion.

Possible typo: you repeated a word
One one
hand, those who choose a competitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
over a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
. There is a saying that
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
money answers all
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
, this saying is true in our world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, take
for example
; in
Possible spelling mistake found.
nigeria
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
anyone can have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
life, the individual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be living on an income of over a hundred thousand
Possible agreement error. The noun 'naira' seems to be countable, so consider using: "nairas".
naira
per month. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
life which includes; capacity to care for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones and families and saving a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
. Most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
nigeria
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in abject poverty
as a result
of earning peanuts as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
,
therefore
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
above an average citizen, the size of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
is to
be considered
.

On the other hand
, deciding to take a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the working situations is not a crime
rather
it is an issue to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
over. There are folks who
Possible spelling mistake found.
taje
home a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
yet
do not have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction, due to the kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
they work in.
For instance
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
lagos
which is the
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
of excellence,
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
workers there are well paid,
nevertheless
the hustle and bustle of this state is killing. The rate at which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
earners breakdown is alarming, whereas
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who earn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
in remote areas like
Possible spelling mistake found.
ibadan
, are able to enjoy the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
they have,
thus
the working atmosphere is a matter to
be put
in consideration when opting for a job.

In conclusion
, in my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
believe looking out for a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
and a conducive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
taking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factors to
be considered
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, both
are needed
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that high salary is important when choosing a company to work for, while others think that good working atmosphere is more important. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts