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Some people think that high salary is important when choosing a company to work for, while others think that good working atmosphere is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion v.1

Some people think that high salary is important when choosing a company to work for, while others think that good working atmosphere is more important. 1
Job satisfaction is desire by many workers today. some people are of the view that an excellent working environment will ensure this, while others argue that a high salary is the most important factor to consider before choosing where to work. This essay will analyse both views and it will express my support for choosing a job with high renumeration. On the one hand, some people prefer to work in companies with good working environment, such as jobs with adequate time-off, good social support and excellent working relation between workers and employers as these factors increase job satisfaction. For example, a hostile work environment will make workers unhappy and subsequently resulting in a high staff-turnover. furthermore, a good working condition will enhance social interraction among workers and this will build them up psychologically and it will increase their productivity. On the other hand, some people believe that that a high salary is the most important factor to consider before choosing where to work. This is because, a high income will help to meet-up with ones basic needs as well as provide luxury. This economic security increases job satisfaction. For instance, the major cause of industrial action in many developing countries is poor renumeration. As a result, many low income earners are unsatisfied with their jobs compared to those with better pay. Thus, I agree with this view. In conclusion, athough a good work atmosphere will increase workers' productivity, a high salary job will ensure workers' socieconomic security and satisfaction. Thus, a high salary is the most important factor to consider before choosing a job.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Job
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satisfaction
is desire by
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many
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workers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are of the view that an excellent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
environment will ensure this, while others argue that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
to consider
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before
choosing where to
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work
. This essay will
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
both views and it will express my support for choosing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
Possible spelling mistake found.
renumeration
.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer to
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work
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
with
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good
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working
environment, such as
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jobs
with adequate time-off,
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good
social support and excellent
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working
relation between
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workers
and employers as these
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factors
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increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
.
For example
, a hostile
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work
environment will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
unhappy and
subsequently
resulting in a
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high
staff-turnover.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
furthermore
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
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working
condition will enhance social
Possible spelling mistake found.
interraction
among
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workers
and this will build them up
psychologically
and it will
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increase
their productivity.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe
Possible typo: you repeated a word
that that
a
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high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
to consider
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
choosing where to
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work
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, a
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high
income will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
-up with ones basic needs
as well
as provide luxury. This economic security
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increases
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
.
For instance
, the major cause of industrial action in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
is poor
Possible spelling mistake found.
renumeration
.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
low income earners
are unsatisfied
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
compared to those with better pay.
Thus
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view.

In conclusion
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
athough
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
atmosphere will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
workers' productivity, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
will ensure workers'
Possible spelling mistake found.
socieconomic
security and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
.
Thus
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
to consider
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
choosing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
48Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
The joy of knowing a foreign language is inexpressible. I find it really difficult to express such joy in my mother tongue.
Munia Khan

IELTS essay Some people think that high salary is important when choosing a company to work for, while others think that good working atmosphere is more important. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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