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Online education is becoming increasingly popular. Many students are choosing to study online instead of face - to - face education. what is the advantages and disadvantages v.1

Online education is becoming increasingly popular. Many students are choosing to study online instead of face - to - face education. what is the advantages and disadvantages v. 1
As technology has become an integral part of educational organization. Some people opt for taking lectures via digital devices, whereas others prefer to learn about new materials in a traditional way. I will examine about the pros and cons of studying with digital devices. In the first place, learning about new materials with online training has many benefits. Firstly, the cost of online training is fairly cheap. As a result, parent’s hard earned salary is saved as children are supposed to able by the online system structure. When we take classes in any schools, it requires a high expense of pay but the online learning do not have thousands of teachers and support staff, which means the headmaster’s wage can be saved by hired just few certificated teachers. Consequently, it may make a high quality of discipline to children as receiving a smaller amount of wage than taking classes physically. On the other hand, it can disturb the relationship of children. If they take classes at home and it is difficult to communicate or hang out with friends. In the second place, studying in a traditional way also has some benefits. They can get feedback of their studies from teachers easily. It is because teachers always guide and monitor their students so that they can improve the ability of solving or communication. However, one of the drawbacks is that the expense of training structure is quite expensive. In conclusion, studying with educational organization has some benefits and drawbacks for children.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
technology has become an integral part of educational organization.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
opt for taking lectures via digital devices, whereas others prefer to learn about new materials
Consider replacing "in a traditional way" with the adverb for "traditional"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a traditional way
. I will examine about the pros and cons of studying with digital devices.

In the
first
place, learning about new materials with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
training has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits.
Firstly
, the cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
training is
fairly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
.
As a result
, parent’s
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
hard earned
salary
is saved
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are supposed
Did you mean "to be able"?
to able
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
system structure. When we take classes in any schools, it requires a high expense of pay
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
learning
This verb is used with the infinitive: "to do"
do
not have thousands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
and support staff, which means the headmaster’s wage can
be saved
by hired
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
few certificated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
.
Consequently
, it may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a high quality of discipline to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
as receiving a smaller amount of wage than taking classes
physically
.
On the other hand
, it can disturb the relationship of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. If they take classes at home and it is difficult to communicate or hang out with friends.

In the second place, studying
Consider replacing "in a traditional way" with the adverb for "traditional"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a traditional way
also
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits. They can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
feedback of their studies from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
easily
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
always guide and monitor their students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the ability of solving or communication.
However
, one of the drawbacks is that the expense of training structure is quite expensive.

In conclusion
, studying with educational organization has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits and drawbacks for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Online education is becoming increasingly popular. Many students are choosing to study online instead of face - to - face education. what is the advantages and disadvantages v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
250 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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