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Some people think that having people from different nationalities and cultural backgrounds living together in the same country makes the country develop faster. Do you agree? v.5

Some people think that having people from different nationalities and cultural backgrounds living together in the same country makes the country develop faster. Do you agree? v. 5
This world is becoming a global village where it has become common for people to migrate from one country to another country. It is now a common belief that people from multiple countries and various cultural backgrounds act as catalyst in the development of any country. This essay will elucidate why I agree with the statement and discuss reasons for it. The main reason of a rapid development in a country due to expats is because of the mindset and intellectual level of the migrants. The people usually migrate for seeking better opportunities, for which they need to go through rigorous and stringent examinations. Only people with best profiles are able to achieve migration. This leads to having best mindsets for top positions in various governmental and multinational organizations, resulting in large revenue streams for the economy of the country. For Instance, the Prime Minister of Pakistan has employed a large number of foreign nationals as advisors and Chief Executive Officers of different organizations, which has led to better financial prosperity in the country. The secondary reason is that foreigners from various cultural backgrounds encourage the tourism industry by introducing their norms and culture in the country. They develop their religious places and introduce their cuisines which attract people, resulting in increased tourism of a country. A recent survey conducted by BBC World showed that the tourism industry in Canada has witnessed a spike of 23% from last year because of new cultures and backgrounds of immigrants. In conclusion, I agree that people from various nationalities and cultural backgrounds in a country help in the rapid development of the country due to their intellectual ability and a mix of various cultures which lead to an increase in the tourism industry of the country.
This world is becoming a global village where it has become common for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to migrate from one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
a common belief that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from multiple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
backgrounds
act as catalyst in the development of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. This essay will elucidate why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement and discuss reasons for it.

The main reason of a rapid development in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
due to expats is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the mindset and intellectual level of the migrants. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
usually
migrate for seeking better opportunities, for which they need to go through rigorous and stringent examinations.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
A determiner is probably missing here: "with the best".
with best
profiles are able to achieve migration. This leads to
A determiner is probably missing here: "having the best".
having best
mindsets for top positions in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
governmental and multinational organizations, resulting in large revenue streams for the economy of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
For Instance
, the Prime Minister of Pakistan has employed
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
foreign nationals as advisors and Chief Executive Officers of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
organizations, which has led to better financial prosperity in the country.

The secondary reason is that foreigners from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
backgrounds
encourage the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
industry by introducing their norms and culture in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. They develop their religious places and introduce their cuisines which attract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, resulting in increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. A recent survey conducted by BBC World
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
industry in Canada has witnessed a spike of 23% from last year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of new cultures and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
backgrounds
of immigrants.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
nationalities and cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
backgrounds
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in the rapid development of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
due to their intellectual ability and a mix of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
cultures which lead to an increase in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
industry of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that having people from different nationalities and cultural backgrounds living together in the same country makes the country develop faster. Do you agree? v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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