Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think that having people from different nationalities and cultural backgrounds living together in the same country make the country develop faster. Do you agree? . v.1

Some people think that having people from different nationalities and cultural backgrounds living together in the same country make the country develop faster. Do you agree? . v. 1
It is commonly thought by many individuals that if people from various countries and cultural beliefs stay together in a particular nation, it helps in the speedy progress of a country. In my opinion, I totally disagree that people from several nationalities and cultural perceptions would result in faster development in a particular country. Firstly, individuals from different countries and cultural ways who live in a particular country tend to have conflict. This is because they have different views over certain ways of life, such as religious belief, therefore it could cause a dispute occasionally. A 2018 special survey by the West African bureau of statistics uncovered that there was a high rate of dispute in a country which was as a result of disagreement in religious idealogy between certain migrants and the citizens. This reveals the extent at which individuals from different countries with different cultural and social beliefs can have a deleterious effect in a particular nation. Secondly, the level of unemployment in the country would highly increase. This means that some companies may retrench their staff in order to accommodate the migrants and this would significantly increase the unemployment rate in the nation. For example, in Nigeria, a lot of jobs were retrieved from Nigerian workers and expatriates were employed to take those positions because the government believed that they were highly skilled and this resulted to massive unemployment in the country. Therefore, this would have a detrimental effects in the growth any nation. Finally, it is quite certain that the movement of persons from different countries into a particular country would result in insufficient housing in the country. In other words, there would be limited accommodations for both the migrants and the citizens. This trend would continue if nothing significant is done urgently. This notion is supported by a 2016 report by the New York times which showed there has been at least a 60 percent decrease in the no of houses for the past 5 years and most of it is attributed to a huge no of persons from different countries who come to live in the same country. To conclude, in as much as having people from different countries and cultural ways come to live in a particular country has their benefits. The deleterious effects are far more obvious in my opinion. This is because it would result in conflict, high level of unemployment and insufficient housing, this will definitely have negative effects in the growth any nation.
It is
commonly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals that if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
beliefs stay together in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
particular
nation, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in the speedy progress of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. In my opinion, I
totally
disagree that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from several nationalities and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
perceptions would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
result
in faster development in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
particular
country.

Firstly
, individuals from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
ways who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
tend to have conflict. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
views over certain ways of life, such as religious belief,
therefore
it could cause a dispute
occasionally
. A 2018 special survey by the West African bureau of statistics uncovered that there was a high rate of dispute in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
which was as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
result
of disagreement in religious
Possible spelling mistake found.
idealogy
between certain migrants and the citizens. This reveals the extent at which individuals from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
and social beliefs can have a deleterious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
particular
nation.

Secondly
, the level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployment
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
would
highly
increase. This means that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
may retrench their staff in order to accommodate the migrants and this would
significantly
increase the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployment
rate in the nation.
For example
, in Nigeria,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
jobs
were retrieved
from Nigerian workers and expatriates
were employed
to take those positions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
believed that they were
highly
skilled and this resulted to massive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployment
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Therefore
, this would have a detrimental effects in the growth any nation.

Finally
, it is quite certain that the movement of persons from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
into a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
result
in insufficient housing in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
In other words
, there would
be limited
accommodations for both the migrants and the citizens. This trend would continue if nothing significant
is done
urgently
. This notion
is supported
by a 2016 report by the
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
New York times
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
there has been at least a 60 percent decrease in the
Did you mean "now" (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
no
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
for the past 5 years and most of it
is attributed
to a huge
Did you mean "now" (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
no
of persons from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the same country.

To conclude
, in as much as having
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
ways
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
has their benefits. The deleterious effects are far more obvious in my opinion. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
result
in conflict, high level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployment
and insufficient housing, this will definitely have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects in the growth any nation.
17Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
41Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.
Benjamin Lee Whorf

IELTS essay Some people think that having people from different nationalities and cultural backgrounds living together in the same country make the country develop faster. Do you agree? . v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
414 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts