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Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. v.8

Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. v. 8
There is much debate about the best way to land a desirable job. Some argue that getting a tertiary qualification is the surest path to get hired while others contend that acquiring experience and non-academic skills is better. Overall, I believe that both academic qualifications and job experience are needed to secure a great job because both aspects are equally valuable. Firstly, a tertiary education provides you with the opportunity to acquire specific skills and knowledge that are prerequisites to performing well in your future job. For example, to become a doctor one needs to have technical knowledge about treating illness and disease. Without learning about anatomy, causes of sickness and understanding the human body in-depth at university; , a doctor would not be able to perform his or her duties at all. Clearly, a university qualification equips students with the technical skills and theory necessary for their prospective career. On the other hand, some occupations value experience and other skills that a tertiary education does not explicitly provide. Jobs such as sales, marketing and advertising may favour an individual’s soft skills such as his persuasive ability, communication skills and prior experience over theoretical knowledge. In this instance, a university degree might not help a job-seeker as much as an impressive resumé filled with various job experiences and extra-curricular achievements. In my opinion, I view both tertiary education and job experience with the development of soft skills as equally important factors to get hired for a coveted job. Combining both the university qualifications and soft skills acquired through real-world experience seems to be the best way to improve the prospects of a great career.
There is much debate about the best way to land a desirable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
argue that getting a tertiary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualification
is the surest path to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
hired while others contend that acquiring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
and non-academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
is better.
Overall
, I believe that both academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualifications
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
are needed
to secure a great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
both aspects are
equally
valuable.

Firstly
, a tertiary education provides you with the opportunity to acquire specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and knowledge that are prerequisites to performing well in your future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
For example
, to become a doctor one needs to have technical knowledge about treating illness and disease. Without learning about anatomy, causes of sickness and understanding the human body in-depth at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
;
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
a doctor would not be able to perform
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
duties at all.
Clearly
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualification
equips students with the technical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and theory necessary for their prospective career.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
occupations value
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
that a tertiary education does not
explicitly
provide.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Jobs
such as sales, marketing and advertising may
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
an individual’s soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
such as his persuasive ability, communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and prior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
over theoretical knowledge. In this instance, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
degree might not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
a job-seeker as much as an impressive
Possible spelling mistake found.
resumé
filled with various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
and extra-curricular achievements.

In my opinion, I view both tertiary education and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
with the development of soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
as
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factors to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
hired for a coveted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. Combining both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualifications
and soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
acquired through real-world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
seems to be the best way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the prospects of a great career.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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