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In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family? v.1

In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family? v. 1
In the recent time, the number of old people who lives in an old age home has been increasing. Some people think family should bear the cost of old people, while others argue that the government should take responsibility of older people. However, I agree that authorities should take charge for the expenditure. The first reason why the government should pay for the cost of a nursing home because some families cannot afford the bills of the caretakers. In some countries, the government is providing pension schemas to senior citizens. However, government should arrange the medical facilities for the elderly people because sometimes medical treatments cannot afford by the old people. Also, in nursing homes there are trained staff who can better look after the old ones. Moreover, in the current scenario, most of the families are working and children cannot look after the elder people very well. Being alone whole day, old ones will feel lonely and in nursing homes, there will be other people of their age group where they can spend time peacefully. Many families run away from their duties not only financially but also from support and cares the old ones need at this age. At this point of time, I believe government should take steps to help senior citizens and provide funds for the old age lives. To conclude, i would like to mention that not only union but the citizens of the nation should provide support for better lifestyle of the old people. They have served their whole life and payed taxes, now young generation should put efforts to keep them happy during their old life.
In the recent time, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
home has been increasing.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
should bear the cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, while others argue that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should take responsibility of older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
However
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that authorities should take charge for the expenditure.

The
first
reason why the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should pay for the cost of a nursing home
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
cannot afford the bills of the caretakers. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is providing pension schemas to senior citizens.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should arrange the medical facilities for the elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
medical treatments cannot afford by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Also
, in nursing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
there
are trained
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "staffs", "staves"?
staff
who can better look after the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
ones.

Moreover
, in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
scenario, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
are working and children cannot look after the elder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well. Being alone whole day,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
ones will feel lonely and in nursing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
, there will be other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
group where they can spend time
peacefully
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
run away from their duties not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
financially
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
from support and cares the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
ones need at this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
. At this point of time, I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should take steps to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
senior citizens and provide funds for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

To conclude
,
Did you mean "I"?
i
would like to mention that not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
union
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the citizens of the nation should provide support for better lifestyle of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. They have served their whole life and
Only in a nautical context 'payed' is an acceptable past tense form of 'pay'. Please check!
payed
taxes,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
young generation should put efforts to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them happy during their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
life.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Learn a language, and you’ll avoid a war.
Arab Proverb

IELTS essay In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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