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At the present time, the population of some countries include relative large numbers of young adults compared with the number of older people Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages? Give the reasons for your answer and include any relative examples from your own knowledge or experiences. v.1

At the present time, the population of some countries include relative large numbers of young adults compared with the number of older people Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages? Give the reasons for your answer and include any relative examples from your own knowledge or experiences. v. 1
Certain countries house a large population of young people, which is often viewed as beneficial. This essay will illustrate the advantages as well as the disadvantages of having a young population through the examples of demographic dividend and how a traditional mentality can lead to overpopulation. In a country with a predominantly young population, there exists a phenomenon called demographic dividend. Young people cannot work from ages 0 to 15, so when they can, there would be a large number of working people. This means that they can now afford to take care of and provide for adolescents, older people, and the unemployed. Consequently, the country can now exploit the surge in economic growth due to the large working class, essentially profiting all parties involved. For example, India economy is heavily reliant on the benefits its population’s demographic dividend will provide due to its overwhelmingly large population. However, there are drawbacks when the age structure of a country is not aligned and one sector outweighs the other. Since the number of people working is increasing rapidly, the number of dependents too are simultaneously advancing. To elucidate with the example of India, people desire to have more children in hopes of being not only tended to when they reach their retirement age, but also to have more hands helping around the house or at their work place. This mentality is the crux of India’s detrimental population problem. This cycle is only perpetuated with time as the importance of young people being synonymous with productivity is being emphasised across the world. To conclude, having a young population is a positive concept only when peoples’ reasoning for procreating is not eclipsed by their backward mindset. If the latter occurs, it can easily deteriorate the state of a nation through overpopulation.
Certain
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countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
viewed as beneficial. This essay will illustrate the advantages
as well
as the disadvantages of having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
through the examples of demographic dividend and how a traditional mentality can lead to overpopulation.

In a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
with a
predominantly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
, there exists a phenomenon called demographic dividend.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot work from ages 0 to 15,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
when they can, there would be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
number of working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. This means that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
afford to take care of and provide for adolescents, older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, and the unemployed.
Consequently
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
exploit the surge in economic growth due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
,
essentially
profiting all parties involved.
For example
, India economy is
heavily
reliant on the benefits its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population’s
demographic dividend will provide due to its
overwhelmingly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
population.

However
, there are drawbacks when the age structure of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is not aligned and one sector outweighs the other. Since the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
working is increasing
rapidly
, the number of dependents too are
simultaneously
advancing. To elucidate with the example of India,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
desire to have more children in hopes of being not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
tended to when they reach their retirement age,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
to have more hands helping around the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
or at their work place. This mentality is the crux of India’s detrimental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
problem. This cycle is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
perpetuated with time as the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
being synonymous with productivity is being
Possible spelling mistake. 'emphasised' is British English.
emphasised
across the world.

To conclude
, having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
concept
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples’
reasoning for procreating is not eclipsed by their backward mindset. If the latter occurs, it can
easily
deteriorate the state of a nation through overpopulation.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
A new language is a new life.
Persian Proverb

IELTS essay At the present time, the population of some countries include relative large numbers of young adults compared with the number of older people Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages? Give the reasons for your answer and include any relative examples from your own knowledge or experiences. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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