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At the present time, the population of some countries include relative large numbers of young adults compared with the number of older people Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages? Give the reasons for your answer and include any relative examples from your own knowledge or experiences. v.1

At the present time, the population of some countries include relative large numbers of young adults compared with the number of older people Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages? Give the reasons for your answer and include any relative examples from your own knowledge or experiences. v. 1
Certain countries house a large population of young people, which is often viewed as beneficial. This essay will illustrate the advantages as well as the disadvantages of having a young population through the examples of demographic dividend and how a traditional mentality can lead to overpopulation. In a country with a predominantly young population, there exists a phenomenon called demographic dividend. Young people cannot work from ages 0 to 15, so when they can, there would be a large number of working people. This means that they can now afford to take care of and provide for adolescents, older people, and the unemployed. Consequently, the country can now exploit the surge in economic growth due to the large working class, essentially profiting all parties involved. For example, India economy is heavily reliant on the benefits its population’s demographic dividend will provide due to its overwhelmingly large population. However, there are drawbacks when the age structure of a country is not aligned and one sector outweighs the other. Since the number of people working is increasing rapidly, the number of dependents too are simultaneously advancing. To elucidate with the example of India, people desire to have more children in hopes of being not only tended to when they reach their retirement age, but also to have more hands helping around the house or at their work place. This mentality is the crux of India’s detrimental population problem. This cycle is only perpetuated with time as the importance of young people being synonymous with productivity is being emphasised across the world. To conclude, having a young population is a positive concept only when peoples’ reasoning for procreating is not eclipsed by their backward mindset. If the latter occurs, it can easily deteriorate the state of a nation through overpopulation.
Certain
countries
house
a
large
population
of
young
people
, which is
often
viewed as beneficial. This essay will illustrate the advantages
as well
as the disadvantages of having a
young
population
through the examples of demographic dividend and how a traditional mentality can lead to overpopulation.

In a
country
with a
predominantly
young
population
, there exists a phenomenon called demographic dividend.
Young
people
cannot work from ages 0 to 15,
so
when they can, there would be a
large
number of working
people
. This means that they can
now
afford to take care of and provide for adolescents, older
people
, and the unemployed.
Consequently
, the
country
can
now
exploit the surge in economic growth due to the
large
working
class
,
essentially
profiting all parties involved.
For example
, India economy is
heavily
reliant on the benefits its
population’s
demographic dividend will provide due to its
overwhelmingly
large
population.

However
, there are drawbacks when the age structure of a
country
is not aligned and one sector outweighs the other. Since the number of
people
working is increasing
rapidly
, the number of dependents too are
simultaneously
advancing. To elucidate with the example of India,
people
desire to have more children in hopes of being not
only
tended to when they reach their retirement age,
but
also
to have more hands helping around the
house
or at their work place. This mentality is the crux of India’s detrimental
population
problem. This cycle is
only
perpetuated with time as the importance of
young
people
being synonymous with productivity is being
emphasised
across the world.

To conclude
, having a
young
population
is a
positive
concept
only
when
peoples’
reasoning for procreating is not eclipsed by their backward mindset. If the latter occurs, it can
easily
deteriorate the state of a nation through overpopulation.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay At the present time, the population of some countries include relative large numbers of young adults compared with the number of older people Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages? Give the reasons for your answer and include any relative examples from your own knowledge or experiences. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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