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Some people think that having people from different nationalities and cultural background living together in the same country makes the country develop faster. Do you agree? v.6

Some people think that having people from different nationalities and cultural background living together in the same country makes the country develop faster. Do you agree? v. 6
There is a plethora of various cultures and nationalities from all over the world. Critics argue that grouping some of them together will boost the country’s development. Although there are two sides to this argument, from my own perspective, there are several reasons to why this suggestion might be effective, which will be discussed in this essay as well as limitations. It is claimed that having some variance in the country in terms of different nationalities and cultural background will support its development. However, culture is one of the most fundamental aspects of development anywhere, so would grouping several civilizations result in losing our own culture? It is historically proven that when different societies live together, their cultural background changes and new traditions are created by time, which is a mixture of their original cultures. In other words, it is the threat of losing our identity that makes this suggestion argumentative. It is no doubt that a country without a strong cultural background will lose its power, which might adversely affect its development. On the other hand, does this risk outweigh the possible advantages? With regards to quicker development, having some variety of nationalities and cultures might achieve this. Interestingly, it is well known that every nationality is famous for a specific industry. For instance, Egyptians and Syrians are popular for manufacturing textiles and clothing. This means that having a non-discriminatory country will allow different people from different regions to pursue their areas of specialisation. As a result, the country will have more manufacturers, which will in turn increase the Gross Domestic Product, which will lead to higher living standards, therefore, development in a short period of time. In conclusion, living with people from different origins will lead to the continuous exchange of knowledge, thus enhancing the educational and cultural backgrounds. It is also worth noting that this method will definitely consume less time, unlike other ways of developing a country which might need decades to achieve the target.
There is a plethora of various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nationalities
from all over the world. Critics argue that grouping
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them together will boost the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
. Although there are two sides to this argument, from my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
perspective, there are several reasons to why this suggestion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be effective, which will
be discussed
in this essay
as well
as limitations.

It
is claimed
that having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
variance in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
in terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nationalities
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
background
will support its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
is one of the most fundamental aspects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
anywhere,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
would
The verb 'would' requires the base form of the verb: "group"
grouping
several civilizations result in losing our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
? It is
historically
proven that when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
societies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
together, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
background
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
and new traditions
are created
by time, which is a mixture of their original
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
.
In other words
, it is the threat of losing our identity that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
this suggestion argumentative. It is no doubt that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
without a strong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
background
will lose its power, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
adversely
affect its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
.
On the other hand
, does this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
outweigh the possible advantages?

Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
With regards to
quicker
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
, having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nationalities
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
achieve this.
Interestingly
, it is well known that every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nationality
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
for a specific industry.
For instance
, Egyptians and Syrians are popular for manufacturing textiles and clothing. This means that having a non-discriminatory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
regions to pursue their areas of
Possible spelling mistake. 'specialisation' is British English.
specialisation
.
As a result
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
will have more manufacturers, which will in turn increase the Gross Domestic Product, which will lead to higher living standards,
therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
in a short period of time.

In conclusion
, living with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
origins will lead to the continuous exchange of knowledge,
thus
enhancing the educational and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
backgrounds
. It is
also
worth noting that this method will definitely consume less time, unlike other ways of developing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
need decades to achieve the target.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that having people from different nationalities and cultural background living together in the same country makes the country develop faster. Do you agree? v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
329 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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