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Some people think that having people from different nationalities and cultural background living together in the same country makes the country develop faster. Do you agree? v.3

Some people think that having people from different nationalities and cultural background living together in the same country makes the country develop faster. Do you agree? v. 3
Some people believe that individuals who are from various countries and religious groups are responsible to progress the country's development by living together in one place rather than in different parts of the world. I, however, agree with the statement that people tend to know about all cultural activities that are existing in the real world. Firstly, while all dwellers are residing in the same area without having any disputes between them, they are exchanging their religious activities, wellbeing human nature and cultural norms with each other. Moreover, this also makes society to involve in all types of festivals and functions, even though it is not a part of their religion. This enlargement of the community which only belongs to one country is also provides different ideas that related to any problem. Furthermore, because communication plays a vital role in this era, people are able to learn about other languages and also helps others to understand their language. Secondly, there are myriad things taken into consideration in the favour of the economy of the country. Due to the rampant proliferation of technology, there is an understanding between people who are from different backgrounds, which ensures a partnership between the industrial sector and public sector to boost the economy. This not only helps to increase the budget, but it also fosters the regulating rules to preserve the population safety. Owing to all these, it is individually responsible to make any innovation by interacting with others. To conclude that, I reiterate my statement by saying that having various cultures and nationalities in one place are needed to make the country unique from other countries.
Some
people
believe that individuals who are from various
countries
and religious groups are responsible to progress the country's development by living together in one place
rather
than in
different
parts of the world. I,
however
,
agree
with the statement that
people
tend to know about all cultural activities that are existing in the real world.

Firstly
, while all dwellers are residing in the same area without having any disputes between them, they are exchanging their religious activities,
wellbeing
human nature and cultural norms with each
other
.
Moreover
, this
also
makes
society to involve in all types of festivals and functions,
even though
it is not a part of their religion. This enlargement of the community which
only
belongs to one
country
is
also
provides
different
ideas
that related to any problem.
Furthermore
,
because
communication plays a vital role in this era,
people
are able to learn about
other
languages and
also
helps
others to understand their language.

Secondly
, there are myriad things taken into consideration in the
favour
of the economy of the
country
. Due to the rampant proliferation of technology, there is an understanding between
people
who are from
different
backgrounds, which ensures a partnership between the industrial sector and public sector to boost the economy. This not
only
helps
to increase the budget,
but
it
also
fosters the regulating
rules
to preserve the population safety. Owing to all these, it is
individually
responsible to
make
any innovation by interacting with others.

To conclude
that, I reiterate my statement by saying that having various cultures and nationalities in one place
are needed
to
make
the
country
unique from
other
countries
.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that having people from different nationalities and cultural background living together in the same country makes the country develop faster. Do you agree? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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