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Libraries are a waste of money, therefore, computers should be used to replace them. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.2

Libraries are a waste of money, therefore, computers should be used to replace them. v. 2
A library consists of a large number of books and considered a place which comprises much information. However, with recent technological advancements, some people argue that funding for libraries should be reduced, and introducing computers to public usage is the best option. I think introducing computers and tablets are a good option. Undoubtedly, society has the opportunity of gathering information using books and magazines in libraries. Furthermore, it is observed that the regular addition of new editions as well as new publications. As a result of that, people have the liberty of reading the newest articles. Another plus point about libraries is that they bring communities together who have common interests. For example, in a library, there are sections for each category, and the readers who have a common interest can be seen assisting each other with the subject matter. Nevertheless, computers could easily replace the libraries as in a single machine has the ability to electronically store all the books in a library making a computer a virtual library. Moreover, the operating cost of a library is huge as whenever there are new publications or new editions, the hard copies should be added and lots of space is required; whereas in computers it is just a matter of adding another one file and the cost of computers are drastically reduced. Another plus point is that the accessibility to information is faster in computers as its a matter of searching keywords. Applications such as the Kindle and Google Books provide soft copies of books at a minimal cost and virtually provides the same experience as reading a paper book with the Kindle reader. In conclusion, the paper book libraries are hard to maintain and should be replaced with modern technology such as computers and tablets. Such an initiative will assist the readers in finding the latest information faster and at a minimal cost.
A library consists of
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
and considered a place which comprises much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
.
However
, with recent technological advancements,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that funding for libraries should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
, and introducing computers to public usage is the best option. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
introducing computers and tablets are a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
option.

Undoubtedly
, society has the opportunity of gathering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
and magazines in libraries.
Furthermore
, it
is observed
that the regular addition of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
editions
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
publications.
As a result
of that,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have the liberty of reading the newest articles. Another plus point about libraries is that they bring communities together who have common interests.
For example
, in a library, there are sections for each category, and the readers who have a common interest can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
assisting each other with the
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "subject".
subject matter
.

Nevertheless
, computers could
easily
replace the libraries as in a single machine has the ability to
electronically
store all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
in a library making a computer a virtual library.
Moreover
, the operating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
of a library is huge as whenever there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
publications or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
editions, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
copies should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
and lots of space
is required
; whereas in computers it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a matter of adding another one file and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
of computers are
drastically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
. Another plus point is that the accessibility to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is faster in computers as
Did you mean "it's" (="it is") instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
its
a matter of searching keywords. Applications such as the Kindle and Google
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Books
provide soft copies of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
at a minimal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
and
virtually
provides the same experience as reading a paper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
with the Kindle reader.

In conclusion
, the paper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
libraries are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to maintain and should
be replaced
with modern technology such as computers and tablets. Such an initiative will assist the readers in finding the latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
faster and at a minimal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Libraries are a waste of money, therefore, computers should be used to replace them. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
313 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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