Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

It is commonly believed that some people are with certain talents for instance for sport and music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sport person or musician. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.3

It is commonly believed that some people are with certain talents for instance for sport and music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sport person or musician. v. 3
It is indisputable that there are some people who were born with gifted abilities. While some people argue that any youngster can be educated to be a successful athlete or musician, others believe that those people are amazing as they were born. In my opinion, I totally agree that anybody can succeed if they keep learning and practicing regularly. Firstly, a numerous number of people were born the same, especially as a normal person, which have to start from the ground up through a number of practices. Although, without any given ability, most of the successful athlete and musician mostly says the same to the media that to essential at anything require a lot of elements, for example, patient, times, a lot of practice and inner strength. Also, it is generally accepted that anybody can achieve anything they want if they invest enough effort on what they are doing. Secondly, being born with a talent is an extremely rare occasion. These people do not need to put much effort to be an expert, due to they are able to learn the new technique in a shorter period than normal people. Moreover, sometimes these talented people discover a new skill which has never been shown before. For instance, A Brazilian footballer named Ronaldinho, who is well known as the best player in the world. Once reported by the press that he is not obligated to practice with his teammate, yet he still dominates his performance. In conclusion, as a human being, anybody can be good at anything, whether they are born with talent or not. The only factor that matters to the ordinary person is the amount of the effort to invest in their interest, which varies in each individual.
It is indisputable that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
were born
with gifted abilities. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that any youngster can
be educated
to be a successful athlete or musician, others believe that those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are amazing as they
were born
. In my opinion, I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that anybody can succeed if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
learning and practicing
regularly
.

Firstly
, a numerous number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were born
the same,
especially
as a normal person, which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
from the ground up through a number of practices. Although, without any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
ability, most of the successful athlete and musician
mostly
says the same to the media that to essential at anything require
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
elements,
for example
, patient, times,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
practice and inner strength.
Also
, it is
generally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
that anybody can achieve anything they want if they invest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
effort on what they are doing.

Secondly
,
being born
with a talent is an
extremely
rare occasion. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not need to put much effort to be an expert, due to they are able to learn the new technique in a shorter period than normal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
these talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
discover a new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
which has never
been shown
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
For instance
, A Brazilian footballer named
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ronaldinho
, who is well known as the best player in the world. Once reported by the press that he is not obligated to practice with his teammate,
yet
he
still
dominates his performance.

In conclusion
, as a human being, anybody can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at anything, whether they
are born
with talent or not. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
factor that matters to the ordinary person is the amount of the effort to invest in their interest, which varies in each individual.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay It is commonly believed that some people are with certain talents for instance for sport and music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sport person or musician. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts