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Some people think that having a set retirement age of 65 years for everybody, regardless of occupation, is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive a pension at an earlier age. Do you agree or disagree? Which types of workers do you think should benefit from early retirement? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience v.1

Getting older has no escape. There are mix views among the people about the fixed age of retirement. Some agree that the age should be set irrespective of occupation as they think that employees of some sectors needs early retirement leading to pension, while other differs in the opinion. I agree, that the retirement age should be based on occupation and some should leave their job responsibilities early. I think workers having mostly physical work should gain the most. Workers such as soldiers and laboureres, mostly have the mechenical works. For instance, labourer has to lift heavy materials and his work involves, more of his hands and legs rather the brain. A survey conducted by the AIIMS in 2018 reported, 98 percent labourers suffer from body aches after the age of 50, possibly due to the nature of work which straines their body. Therefore, such people deserves early retirement and pension which can keep well off for the rest of life. Furthemore, the employees working under radioactive exposure such as X-Ray, deserves early retirement and regular reimburement because there body cells need time to heal the harm done by toxic rays. On the other hand, such discrimination can dampen the motivation of people working in other sector. For example, a survey by AMU outlines that in general an academician studies for about 32 years and by the time he is a professor he is at the median age of 38. In most of the countries, retimenet age is 65 for teaching staffs. They might be think that their jobs are less lucrativewe and they have to serve more as compared to other jobs, perhaps making them less motivated. To recapitulate, although, many professions are more tiring which hurts physically and hence, they deserve early retirement and pension, this could be demotivational to others. In my opinion, there should be a proper governing and investigating body, who should calculate the retirement age specific to the work responsibilities. The workers costing their body during the employment, should enjoy early retirement perks.
Getting older has no escape. There are mix views among the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirement
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
should
be set
irrespective of occupation as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that employees of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sectors needs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirement
leading to pension, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
differs in the opinion. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
, that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
should
be based
on occupation and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their job responsibilities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
workers having
mostly
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
should gain the most.

Workers such as soldiers and
Possible spelling mistake found.
laboureres
,
mostly
have the
Possible spelling mistake found.
mechenical
works.
For instance
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
labourer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
lift heavy materials and his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
involves, more of his hands and legs
rather
the brain. A survey conducted by the
Possible spelling mistake found.
AIIMS
in 2018 reported, 98 percent
Possible spelling mistake found.
labourers
suffer from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
aches after the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 50,
possibly
due to the nature of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
which
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean “strains”, the plural form of the noun ‘strain’?
straines
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
.
Therefore
, such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If ‘people’ is plural here, don’t use the third-person singular verb.
deserves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirement
and pension which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
well off for the rest of life.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Furthemore
, the employees working under radioactive exposure such as X-Ray, deserves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirement
and regular
Possible spelling mistake found.
reimburement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
cells need time to heal the harm done by toxic rays.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, such discrimination can dampen the motivation of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
working in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
sector.
For example
, a survey by AMU outlines that
in general
an academician studies for about 32 years and by the time he is a professor he is at the median
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 38. In most of the countries,
Possible spelling mistake found.
retimenet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
is 65 for teaching staffs. They might be
Consider using either the past participle “thought” or the present participle “thinking” here.
think
that their jobs are less
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
lucrativewe and
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
serve more
Comparison requires “than”, not ‘then’ nor ‘as’.
as
compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
jobs, perhaps making them less motivated.

To recapitulate, although,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
professions are more tiring which hurts
physically
and
hence
, they deserve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirement
and pension, this could be
Possible spelling mistake found.
demotivational
to others. In my opinion, there should be a proper governing and investigating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
, who should calculate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
specific to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
responsibilities. The workers costing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
during the employment, should enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirement
perks.
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IELTS essay Some people think that having a set retirement age (e. g. 65 years) for everybody, regardless of occupation, is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive a pension at an earlier age. Which types of workers do you think should benefit from early retirement?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
339 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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