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It is generally accepted that exercise is good for children and teenagers. Therefore, physical education and sports should be compulsory for all students in all schools. What do you think? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples form your own knowledge or experience. v.1

It is generally accepted that exercise is good for children and teenagers. Therefore, physical education and sports should be compulsory for all students in all schools. What do you think? v. 1
With children and teenagers spending a lot of time in academic studies, making way for physical activities and picking a sport may get too taxing. The curriculum in schools should have such arrangements to make the subject of physical education and blending in some sports mandatory. Considering the physical health issues like obesity and mental well-being associated with video games and mobile phones these days along with dietary habits, incorporating games and exercise in the curriculum is certainly a good way to breed a healthy generation. Having said that, there are many reasons associated with introducing recreational activities in academia. To start with, children and teenagers are prone to the sedentary lifestyle because of the technology and gadgets which includes mobile and console gaming. Imparting a physical education to these pupils will mean they stay active and prioritise their functional health. Moreover, the diet too is not healthy as the generation eats a lot of fast food. Sports can create health awareness amongst the youth and motivates them to opt for healthy food to remain competitive. To exemplify, there are institutes in Australia that facilitate outdoor activities and athletics within the school premises and the same are included in the course. No wonder why they are ahead in almost every sport including Cricket, Football and Rugby while winning quite some medals at the Olympics events. Nurturing athleticism and sportsmanship from the conservatory-level is one way to gift nation with the healthy citizens for the coming time. Concluding the same, the importance of physical education and sporting activities cannot be emphasized enough. Time and again, it has been proved that fitter, healthier students promote a fitter lifestyle to the society which makes it positively infectious. Educational institutes focusing on these areas proves vital to the country as well.
With children and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
spending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time in academic studies, making way for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
and picking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
too taxing. The curriculum in schools should have such arrangements to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the subject of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
education and blending in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
mandatory. Considering the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
health issues like obesity and mental well-
being associated
with video games and mobile phones these days along with dietary habits, incorporating games and exercise in the curriculum is
certainly
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way to breed a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
generation.

Having said that, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons associated with introducing recreational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
in academia. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, children and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
are prone to the sedentary lifestyle
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the technology and gadgets which includes mobile and console gaming. Imparting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
education to these pupils will mean they stay active and
Possible spelling mistake. 'prioritise' is British English.
prioritise
their functional health.
Moreover
, the diet too is not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
as the generation eats
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sports
can create health awareness amongst the youth and motivates them to opt for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
food to remain competitive.

To exemplify, there are institutes in Australia that facilitate outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
and athletics within the school premises and the same
are included
in the course. No wonder why they are ahead in almost every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
including Cricket, Football and Rugby while winning quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
medals at the Olympics
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
. Nurturing athleticism and sportsmanship from the conservatory-level is one way to gift nation with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
citizens for the coming time.

Concluding the same, the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
education and sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
cannot
be emphasized
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
. Time and again, it has
been proved
that fitter, healthier students promote a fitter lifestyle to the society which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it
positively
infectious. Educational institutes focusing on these areas proves vital to the country
as well
.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
If we spoke a different language, we would perceive a somewhat different world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay It is generally accepted that exercise is good for children and teenagers. Therefore, physical education and sports should be compulsory for all students in all schools. What do you think? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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