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Nowadays museums and historical sites are visited mainly by foreign tourists rather than by locals. Why is this happening? What can be done to get locals to visit museums and historical sites more often? v.2

Nowadays museums and historical sites are visited mainly by foreign tourists rather than by locals. Why is this happening? What can be done to get locals to visit museums and historical sites more often? v. 2
After the revolution of transportation systems, overseas travel has become popular among people all over the world. As a result, international travelers over time increased dramatically. Unfortunately, although local inhabitants visit the historical building which is located in their city, transnational visitors are more than residents. I believe the improvement in vehicles is why this reality happened and local broadcast has a potential impact to encourage locals to visit their history. As mentioned earlier, foreigners visit museums and historical places more than locals. The most important reason why tourists are interested more is rooted in the development of transportation systems. Because of this progress, tourists prefer to spend time to see historical buildings and museums that are popular in the world. As always, museums are more interesting for tourists than locals, because it is a new event for foreigners. Take Iranians who travel to Turkey for instance. Every year, millions of Iranian travel to Turkey as a holiday, although there is a lot of fabulous museums and historical building in Iran. During travel and become more familiar whit different cultures, gradually cultural boundaries have vanished. So, residents should be encouraged to become more familiar with their religious beliefs, social background, and cultural values to prevent and maintain cultures. One of these ways is museums and historical places which are located in their city. Resident broadcasts should advertise local museums and buildings to motivate locals to visit these places. In conclusion, historical sites and museums have a crucial role to prevent one culture from disappearing. These days, foreigners visit more these places than locals and inhabit should be stimulated to visit more to inhibit local cultures vanishing.
After the revolution of transportation systems, overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
has become popular among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
all over the world.
As a result
, international travelers over time increased
dramatically
. Unfortunately, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
inhabitants
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
which
is located
in their city, transnational visitors are more than residents. I believe the improvement in vehicles is why this reality happened and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
broadcast has a potential impact to encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
their history.

As mentioned earlier, foreigners
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
places more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
. The most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
reason why tourists
are interested
more
is rooted
in the development of transportation systems.
Because of this
progress, tourists prefer to spend time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
that are popular in the world. As always,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
are more interesting for tourists than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is a new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
for foreigners. Take Iranians who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
to Turkey
for instance
. Every year, millions of Iranian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
to Turkey as a holiday, although there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
fabulous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
in Iran.

During
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
and become more familiar whit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
,
gradually
cultural boundaries have vanished.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, residents should
be encouraged
to become more familiar with their religious beliefs, social background, and cultural values to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
and maintain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
. One of these ways is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
places which
are located
in their city. Resident broadcasts should advertise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
to motivate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
these places.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
sites and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
have a crucial role to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
from disappearing. These days, foreigners
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
more these places than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
and inhabit should
be stimulated
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
more to inhibit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
vanishing.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
40Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Nowadays museums and historical sites are visited mainly by foreign tourists rather than by locals. Why is this happening? What can be done to get locals to visit museums and historical sites more often? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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