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Some people think that having a set retirement age (e. g. 65 years) for everybody, regardless of occupation, is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive a pension at an earlier age. • Do you agree or disagree? • Which types of workers do you think should benefit from early retirement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.6

Some people think that having a set retirement age (e. g. 65 years) for everybody, regardless of occupation, is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive a pension at an earlier age. • • Which types of workers do you think should benefit from early retirement? v. 6
In this millennium, most of the people hold a job and they will be getting retired at the age of 65. Retirement age is an age when every working person takes a break from their job and gets paid for their past years of hard work by their company. Some people believe that having a fixed retirement age for everyone is unfair and other people believe that it's fair enough to have a fixed age. In my view, early retirement is important for certain employees. When most of the people had a single occupation, it was easier for the companies to give early retirement for whom worked over a particular year. But now it’s impossible to divide people like that because people change their jobs every few years. Human gets drained out when they are aged, they tend to become weak, when they get old. People who work in the office is not in require of an early retirement but people who have worked in the same office for a long period needs to avail early retirement. Different job requires a different level of skills. There are people who impart a lot of energy in their work on a daily basis. Those people who do more physically and stressful work needs to retire early. Like the people working in mines, armed forces, construction workers, policemen, court, and so on. They impart a lot their physical energy in their job on a day-to-day life. They will be out of their energy, when they reach the age of 50 itself. So, the early retirement will be giving them some ease and provide them time to rest. To conclude, having a common retirement age for everyone is one-sided. Many people deserve early retirement. It should not be a system for certain people suffer badly to reach the finish point, so called ‘retirement age’.
In this millennium, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
hold a
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
job and
they will be getting retired at the
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age
of 65.
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Retirement
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age
is an
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age
when every working person takes a break from their
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job
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
paid for their past years of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
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work
by their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
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Some
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people
believe that having a
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fixed
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retirement
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age
for everyone is unfair and other
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people
believe that it's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
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age
. In my view,
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early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirement
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for certain employees.

When most of the
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people
had a single occupation, it was easier for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
to give
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early
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retirement
for whom worked over a particular year.
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But
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now
it’s impossible to divide
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people
like that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their
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jobs
every few years. Human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
drained out when they
are aged
, they tend to become weak, when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
.
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People
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who
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work
in the office is not in require of an
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early
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retirement
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but
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people
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who
have worked in the same office for a long period needs to avail
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early
retirement.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Different
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job
requires a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
level of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. There are
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people
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who
impart
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a lot of
energy in their
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work
on a daily basis. Those
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people
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who
do more
physically
and stressful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
needs to retire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
. Like the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
working in mines, armed forces, construction workers, policemen, court, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. They impart a lot their physical energy in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
on a day-to-day life. They will be out of their energy, when they reach the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 50 itself.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirement
will be giving them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
and provide them time to rest.

To conclude
, having a common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirement
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age
for everyone is one-sided.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
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people
deserve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirement
. It should not be a system for certain
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people
suffer
badly
to reach the finish point,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
called
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
‘retirement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age’
.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
50Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that having a set retirement age (e. g. 65 years) for everybody, regardless of occupation, is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive a pension at an earlier age. • • Which types of workers do you think should benefit from early retirement? v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
310 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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