Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think that having a set retirement age (e. g. 65 years) for everybody, regardless of occupation, is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive a pension at an earlier age. Do you agree or disagree? Which types of workers do you think should benefit from early retirement? v.10

Some people think that having a set retirement age (e. g. 65 years) for everybody, regardless of occupation, is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive a pension at an earlier age. Which types of workers do you think should benefit from early retirement? v. 10
Many governments set an arbitrary retirement age (such as sixty-five), but Some people are physically worn out or mentally exhausted well before they reach this age. While some people believe the set age is reasonable, others think it should be more flexible with exemptions for certain workers. In my opinion, a fixed retirement age is actually best for everybody because it is the easiest and fairest arrangement, but I think a tribunal could be established to decide whether individual workers deserve to Receive a pension at an earlier age. Before the new economy, when most people had a single occupation for life, it Would have made a lot of sense to allow some manual labourers or people working in psychologically stressful roles to retire earlier. Today, however, so many people are changing jobs and shift between industries every few years that it is difficult to make these distinctions. An ideal middle ground would be to have a set retirement age for everybody, But to create a tribunal that could hear individual cases. A sixty year old who had been a miner for forty years could get an early pension, for example, whereas someone of the same age who had only spent eight years mining in his twenties would not. Two types of workers would benefit from early retirement. First are those who Work in tough, physically demanding conditions such as construction workers, coal miners and welders. The others are workers in high stress positions where sound judgement is crucial for public safety. Emergency medical practitioners and air traffic control operators are two such examples. With people’s working lives differing on an individual basis, it is difficult to Classify them into large groups and distribute pensions accordingly. Nevertheless, many individuals still deserve an early pension and in some cases, our well-being may depend on giving it to them.
Many
governments
set an arbitrary
retirement
age
(such as sixty-five),
but


Some
people
are
physically
worn out or mentally exhausted well
before
they reach this
age
. While
some
people
believe the set
age
is reasonable, others
think
it should be more flexible with exemptions for certain
workers
. In my opinion, a
fixed
retirement
age
is actually best for everybody
because
it is the easiest and fairest arrangement,
but
I
think
a tribunal could
be established
to decide whether
individual
workers
deserve
to


Receive a
pension
at an earlier age.

Before
the new economy, when most
people
had a single occupation for life, it

Would have made
a lot of
sense to
allow
some
manual
labourers
or
people
working in
psychologically
stressful roles to retire earlier.
Today
,
however
,
so
many
people
are changing jobs and shift between industries every few years that it is difficult to
make
these distinctions.

An ideal middle ground would be to have a set
retirement
age
for everybody,

But
to create a tribunal that could hear
individual
cases. A sixty
year
old
who had been a miner for forty years could
get
an early
pension
,
for example
, whereas someone of the same
age
who had
only
spent eight years mining in his twenties would not.

Two types of
workers
would benefit from early
retirement
.
First
are those
who


Work in tough,
physically
demanding conditions such as construction
workers
, coal miners and welders. The others are
workers
in high
stress
positions where sound judgement is crucial for public safety. Emergency medical practitioners and air traffic control operators are two such examples.

With
people’s
working
lives
differing on an
individual
basis, it is difficult to

Classify them into large groups and distribute
pensions
accordingly
.
Nevertheless
,
many
individuals
still
deserve an early
pension
and in
some
cases, our well-being may depend on giving it to them.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that having a set retirement age (e. g. 65 years) for everybody, regardless of occupation, is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive a pension at an earlier age. Which types of workers do you think should benefit from early retirement? v. 10

Essay
  American English
11 paragraphs
307 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts