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Some people think that governments should ban dangerous sports, while others think people should have the freedom to do any sports or activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.1

Some people think that governments should ban dangerous sports, while others think people should have the freedom to do any sports or activity. v. 1
The public hold different views as to whether the government should inhibit life-threatening sports or it is human’s rights to do whatever they desire freely. I am of the view that putting a ban on this approach by the government is really unnecessary. These kinds of risky sports or activities could cause injury and even death. Furthermore, these hair-raising sports are usually attracted to inexperienced young individuals who enjoy feeling fear. As a result, a number of individuals, especially parents, are deeply worried about the consequences of these perilous games. At the same time, some taxpayers may cite the extremely high expenses of these injuries place an excessive strain on social services such as healthcare and insurance which their budget is allocated from the governmental funds. Therefore, they believe the government must halt these dangerous activities to avoid physical damaging as well as financial loss. On the other hand, freedom of choice is the initial right of humans. Obviously, nobody wants to hurt themselves, yet the enjoyment of these entertainment activities is second to none, absorbing everyone with a little courage. In addition, with the advancement in safety equipment in recent years it is safer than ever for thriller seekers to participate in these games. Perhaps, the only role of the government is to regulate the rules to firmly enforce participants to follow the safety rules. Wearing a helmet, for instance, is now mandatory for motorcyclist which can prevent brain injuries in matches and off-road riding. In conclusion, the government should not forbid these perilous recreational activities, yet imposing some strict rules for enhancing individual safety are able to control and reduce the proportion of physical impairment.
The public hold
different
views
as to whether
the
government
should inhibit life-threatening sports or it is
human’s rights
to do whatever they desire
freely
. I am of the view that putting a ban on this approach by the
government
is
really
unnecessary.

These kinds of risky sports or
activities
could cause injury and even death.
Furthermore
, these hair-raising sports are
usually
attracted to inexperienced young individuals who enjoy feeling fear.
As a result
, a number of individuals,
especially
parents, are
deeply
worried about the consequences of these perilous games. At the same time,
some
taxpayers may cite the
extremely
high expenses of these injuries place an excessive strain on social services such as healthcare and insurance which their budget
is allocated
from the governmental funds.
Therefore
, they believe the
government
must
halt these
dangerous
activities
to avoid physical damaging
as well
as financial loss.

On the other hand
, freedom of choice is the initial right of humans.
Obviously
, nobody wants to hurt themselves,
yet
the enjoyment of these entertainment
activities
is second to none, absorbing everyone with a
little
courage.
In addition
, with the advancement in safety equipment in recent years it is safer than ever for thriller seekers to participate in these games. Perhaps, the
only
role of the
government
is to regulate the
rules
to
firmly
enforce participants to follow the safety
rules
. Wearing a helmet,
for instance
, is
now
mandatory for motorcyclist which can
prevent
brain injuries in matches and off-road riding.

In conclusion
, the
government
should not forbid these perilous recreational
activities
,
yet
imposing
some
strict
rules
for enhancing individual safety are able to control and
reduce
the proportion of physical impairment.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
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IELTS essay Some people think that governments should ban dangerous sports, while others think people should have the freedom to do any sports or activity. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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