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Some people think that governments should ban dangerous sports, while others think people should have freedom to do any sports or activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.1

Some people think that governments should ban dangerous sports, while others think people should have freedom to do any sports or activity. v. 1
It is true that there is widespread concern over the practice of extreme sports, to the extent that some people argue that they should be outlawed by government legislation. While nobody should underestimate the risks, I would argue that people should be free to practice such sports if they so wish. On the one hand, critics of dangerous sports give strong reasons why governments should impose an official ban on such activities. Firstly, they argue that such a measure is necessary on safety grounds. There have been numerous incidents where members of rescue services have had to put their own lives at risk to save extreme sports enthusiasts who are in life-threatening situations. Secondly, it is necessary at times to infringe on personal freedoms because people who lack the necessary experience or who are not in the peak of physical condition sometimes take up dangerous sports. Such irresponsible behaviour can only be prevented by banning these sports. On the other hand, I concur with those who argue that people should be free to do extreme sports, although I believe it is necessary for individualsto abide by the safety rules. One reason is that the imposition of sensible safety measures has been proven to minimize the risk of accidents and injuries. For example, all sports which carry a significant element of danger, such as scuba diving or paragliding should be supervised by an experienced and professionally qualified instructor. Another factor is that there is now a range of essential sports gear to protect those who practice dangerous sports. Such equipment ranges from safety ropes and helmets to water-resistant clothing. In conclusion, it seems to me that dangerous sports should be permitted, although those who take part have a responsibilty to adhere to the recommended safety procedures.
It is true that there is widespread concern over the practice of extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, to the extent that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argue
that they should
be outlawed
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
legislation. While nobody should underestimate the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
, I would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argue
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should be free to practice such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
if they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
wish.

On the one hand, critics of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
give strong reasons why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should impose an official ban on such activities.
Firstly
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argue
that such a measure is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
necessary
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
grounds. There have been numerous incidents where members of rescue services have had to put their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
to save extreme
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sports
enthusiasts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are in life-threatening situations.
Secondly
, it is
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necessary
at times to infringe on personal freedoms
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
lack the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
necessary
experience or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are not in the peak of physical condition
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
take up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. Such irresponsible
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
by banning these sports.

On the other hand
, I concur with those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argue
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should be free to do extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, although I believe it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
necessary
for
Possible spelling mistake found.
individualsto
abide by the
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safety
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
. One reason is that the imposition of sensible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
measures has
been proven
to minimize the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of accidents and injuries.
For example
, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
which carry a significant element of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
, such as scuba diving or paragliding should
be supervised
by an experienced and
professionally
qualified instructor. Another factor is that there is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
a range of essential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
gear to protect those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
practice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. Such equipment ranges from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
ropes and helmets to water-resistant clothing.

In conclusion
, it seems to me that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
should
be permitted
, although those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
have a
Possible spelling mistake found.
responsibilty
to adhere to the recommended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
procedures.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
37Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages know nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay Some people think that governments should ban dangerous sports, while others think people should have freedom to do any sports or activity. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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