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Some people think that government should spend money on railways. Others believe that there should be more investment into new roads. Discuss both views and give your opinion v.1

Some people think that government should spend money on railways. Others believe that there should be more investment into new roads. 1
Throughout history, humans have used various modes of transportation to commute and for trading. However, while some believe that investment in railways and trains should be the priority of the government, I side with those who think that investment should be focused on new roads and tracks. On the one hand, it is argued that the state should allocate more finances for railways. According to them, the biggest advantage of railways is that it is comparatively more affordable than other modes of transportation as trains cater to a larger section of the public, who cannot afford to have their cars or bikes. According to an economic survey, a person using trains for his daily commute to his work spends one-fifth of the fuel cost incurred by a person using his car in the same distance. Moreover, trains are believed to have a lower risk of accidents than vehicles running on roads, for they have separate tracks for themselves. On the other hand, I agree with those who believe that investments on roads are more important than on railways. In my opinion, roads are used not just by public vehicles such as buses and taxis, but private vehicles alike. Unlike railways, better roads are also beneficial for those who do not prefer to use public transport as their daily commute. Furthermore, I feel that the greatest benefit of a good road network is its role in promoting trade and consequently, contribution to the development of the economy. Countries having well-developed road networks are usually seen to have a better economy. For instance, with proper roads, farmers would be able to transfer their goods from farms to the market in a shorter time. To conclude, although the railway is generally cheaper for the masses, roads help in boosting trade and the economic development of the country. Therefore, on balance, I firmly believe that the government should prioritize and spend more on the development of road networks.
Throughout history, humans have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
various modes of transportation to commute and for trading.
However
, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that investment in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
should be the priority of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
, I side with those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that investment should
be focused
on new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tracks
.

On the one hand, it
is argued
that the state should allocate more finances for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
. According to them, the biggest advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
is that it is
comparatively
more affordable than other modes of transportation as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
cater to a larger section of the public,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
cannot afford to have their cars or bikes. According to an economic survey, a person using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
for his daily commute to his work spends one-fifth of the fuel cost incurred by a person using his car in the same distance.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
are believed
to have a lower
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of accidents than vehicles running on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
, for they have separate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tracks
for themselves.

On the other hand
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
believe that investments on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
by public vehicles such as buses and taxis,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
private vehicles alike. Unlike
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
, better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
are
also
beneficial for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
do not prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
public transport as their daily commute.
Furthermore
, I feel that the greatest benefit of a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
network is its role in promoting trade and
consequently
, contribution to the development of the economy. Countries having well-developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
networks are
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
to have a better economy.
For instance
, with proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
, farmers would be able to transfer their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
from farms to the market in a shorter time.

To conclude
, although the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
is
generally
cheaper for the masses,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in boosting trade and the economic development of the country.
Therefore
, on balance, I
firmly
believe that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should prioritize and spend more on the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
networks.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that government should spend money on railways. Others believe that there should be more investment into new roads. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
324 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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