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Some people think that governments should spend money on railways. others believe that there should be more investment into new roads. Discuss both sides & give your opinion. v.3

Some people think that governments should spend money on railways. others believe that there should be more investment into new roads. v. 3
There are split opinion regarding Railway and New roads. Some people believe that governments should spend money on Railways. While another group of thinkers support investment into new roads. However, both the the views has own pros and cons. Therefore, before commenting on my decision both the opinion would be discussed. Examing the former opinion the primary argument the supporters put forward is, investing more money in modern train system and it will be mean that mankind can travel more faster in all over the country. Furthermore, development of the railway passenger not have to deal with the conjunction, because nowadays many people travel by train and most of the middle class family. So they face many arduous, like not comfortable sits, so much hustle and bustle, sometimes not get the healthy food in train. In addition to, governments should launch the new fast train with plethora of amenities. On the contrary, the latter view suggest that roads are equally important. most of the people use both the ways like roads and railway to commute to college or work. Nowdays roads are so much worst, so every individual drive slowly and they cannot reach on time. for instance, they make take bus or car to reach the railway station and after that they may take the train to reach their office or college. Moreover, If there are no roads, so public get difficulty to reach their destinations. To conclude and give my opinion, I would say that both the things are very important in our life. so government should give equal attention to both modes of transport.
There
are split
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
regarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Railway
and New
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should spend money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Railways
.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
another group of thinkers
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "supports"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'support' is not always incorrect.)
support
investment into new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
.
However
, both
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "the" or "the" is left.
the the
views has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
pros and cons.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
commenting on my decision both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
would
be discussed
.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Examing
the former
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
the primary argument the supporters put forward is, investing more money in modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
system and it will be mean that mankind can travel
Use only "faster" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more faster
in all over the country.
Furthermore
, development of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
passenger not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
deal with the conjunction,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
nowadays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
travel by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
and most of the middle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
family.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
they face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
arduous, like not comfortable sits,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much hustle and bustle,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the healthy food in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
.
In addition
to,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should launch the new
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
with plethora of amenities.

On the contrary
, the latter view suggest that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
are
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
most
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
both the ways like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
to commute to college or work.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nowdays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much
Did you mean "worse"?
worst
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
every individual drive
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
slowly and
they cannot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reach
on time.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
instance, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
take bus or car to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reach
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
station and after that they may take the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reach
their office or college.
Moreover
, If there are no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
public
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
difficulty to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reach
their destinations.

To conclude
and give my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
, I would say that both the things are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in our life.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should give equal attention to both modes of transport.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Mistakes
The most intimate temper of a people, its deepest soul, is above all in its language.
Jules Michelet

IELTS essay Some people think that governments should spend money on railways. others believe that there should be more investment into new roads. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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