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Some people think that government should spend money on health awareness while others argue it is better to spend build hospitals rather than health awareness. v.1

Some people think that government should spend money on health awareness while others argue it is better to spend build hospitals rather than health awareness. v. 1
Investments in various health sectors by the government always invite controversies both in the developed and underdeveloped countries. The public is always keen about health policies of authorities. Some people hold the opinion that the investing money for health awareness bear better fruit, while others argue that the construction of good hospital bring more beneficial aspects to the public. This essay discusses both the view and adds my own opinion. Some people believe that the money spent on health awareness brings about the prevention and control of several ailments. They point to the fact that the massive changes come about by the appropriate health awareness programs. If citizens become well informed and proactive in health-related matters, we do not need to go the extra mile to prevent the break out of many communicable diseases and epidemic in societies. Over and above, many lifestyle diseases can be prevented as easy as pie by proper health awareness to the public. Some others believe that the spending money to build hospitals and health care centres pay more dividend. They argue that the well equipped and facilitated hospitals are inevitable to treat many serious ailments such as cancer and cardiac problems. In addition, improvements of some genetic diseases such as Down syndrome and Haemophilia call for better hospital care. Apart from that, the accidents and trauma care are practicable only in good health institutional settings. In short, health awareness plays a pivotal role in good health policy. Many lifestyle diseases can be preventable by this attempt.   In my opinion, well-equipped hospitals play the significant role in people's health. In the hustle and bustle lifestyle, the accidents and communication diseases are not uncommon. At this juncture, advanced treatment facilities are the necessary part of society. Health is wealth and investing the money on hospital constructions bears better fruit than any other form of investment in the health sector. It brings in an optimum level of health among the citizen.
Investments in various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
sectors by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
always invite controversies both in the developed and underdeveloped countries. The public is always keen about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
policies of authorities.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
hold the opinion that the investing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
awareness
bear better fruit, while others argue that the construction of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
bring more beneficial aspects to the public. This essay discusses both the view and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
adds
my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
spent on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
awareness
brings about the prevention and control of several ailments. They point to the fact that the massive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
about by the appropriate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
awareness
programs. If citizens become
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well informed
and proactive in health-related matters, we do not need to go the extra mile to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the break out of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
communicable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
and epidemic in societies. Over and above,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
lifestyle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
as easy as pie by proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
awareness
to the public.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
others believe that the spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to build
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospitals
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
pay more dividend. They argue that the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well equipped
and facilitated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospitals
are inevitable to treat
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
serious ailments such as cancer and cardiac problems.
In addition
, improvements of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
genetic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
such as Down syndrome and
Possible spelling mistake. 'Haemophilia' is British English.
Haemophilia
call for better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
care. Apart from that, the accidents and trauma care are practicable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
institutional settings.

In short,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
awareness
plays a pivotal role in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
policy.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
lifestyle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
can be preventable by this attempt.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
In my opinion, well-equipped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospitals
play the significant role in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. In the hustle and bustle lifestyle, the accidents and communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
are not uncommon. At this juncture, advanced treatment facilities are the necessary part of society.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Health
is wealth and investing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
constructions bears better fruit than any other form of investment in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
sector. It brings in an optimum level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
among the citizen.
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that government should spend money on health awareness while others argue it is better to spend build hospitals rather than health awareness. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
325 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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