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Some people think that government should spend money on health awareness while others argue it is better to spend build hospitals rather than health awareness. v. 1

Investments in various health sectors by the government always invite controversies both in the developed and underdeveloped countries. The public is always keen about health policies of authorities. Some people hold the opinion that the investing money for health awareness bear better fruit, while others argue that the construction of good hospital bring more beneficial aspects to the public. This essay discusses both the view and adds my own opinion. Some people believe that the money spent on health awareness brings about the prevention and control of several ailments. They point to the fact that the massive changes come about by the appropriate health awareness programs. If citizens become well informed and proactive in health-related matters, we do not need to go the extra mile to prevent the break out of many communicable diseases and epidemic in societies. Over and above, many lifestyle diseases can be prevented as easy as pie by proper health awareness to the public. Some others believe that the spending money to build hospitals and health care centres pay more dividend. They argue that the well equipped and facilitated hospitals are inevitable to treat many serious ailments such as cancer and cardiac problems. In addition, improvements of some genetic diseases such as Down syndrome and Haemophilia call for better hospital care. Apart from that, the accidents and trauma care are practicable only in good health institutional settings. In short, health awareness plays a pivotal role in good health policy. Many lifestyle diseases can be preventable by this attempt.   In my opinion, well-equipped hospitals play the significant role in people's health. In the hustle and bustle lifestyle, the accidents and communication diseases are not uncommon. At this juncture, advanced treatment facilities are the necessary part of society. Health is wealth and investing the money on hospital constructions bears better fruit than any other form of investment in the health sector. It brings in an optimum level of health among the citizen.

IELTS essay Some people think that government should spend money on health awareness while others argue it is better to spend build hospitals rather than health awareness. v.1

Investments in various
health
sectors by the
government
always invite controversies both in the developed and underdeveloped countries. The public is always keen about
health
policies of authorities.
Some
people
hold the opinion that the investing
money
for
health
awareness
bear better fruit, while others argue that the construction of
good
hospital
bring more beneficial aspects to the public. This essay discusses both the view and
adds
my
own
opinion.
Some
people
believe that the
money
spent on
health
awareness
brings about the prevention and control of several ailments. They point to the fact that the massive
changes
come
about by the appropriate
health
awareness
programs. If citizens become
well informed
and proactive in health-related matters, we do not need to go the extra mile to
prevent
the break out of
many
communicable
diseases
and epidemic in societies. Over and above,
many
lifestyle
diseases
can be
prevented
as easy as pie by proper
health
awareness
to the public.
Some
others believe that the spending
money
to build
hospitals
and
health
care
centres
pay more dividend. They argue that the
well equipped
and facilitated
hospitals
are inevitable to treat
many
serious ailments such as cancer and cardiac problems.
In addition
, improvements of
some
genetic
diseases
such as Down syndrome and
Haemophilia
call for better
hospital
care. Apart from that, the accidents and trauma care are practicable
only
in
good
health
institutional settings. In short,
health
awareness
plays a pivotal role in
good
health
policy.
Many
lifestyle
diseases
can be preventable by this attempt.
 
In my opinion, well-equipped
hospitals
play the significant role in
people
's
health
. In the hustle and bustle lifestyle, the accidents and communication
diseases
are not uncommon. At this juncture, advanced treatment facilities are the necessary part of society.
Health
is wealth and investing the
money
on
hospital
constructions bears better fruit than any other form of investment in the
health
sector. It brings in an optimum level of
health
among the citizen.
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
Essay
4 paragraphs
325 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resources: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Band score ≥ 7
  • Band score ≤ 6
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