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Do you believe that experimentation on animals for scientific purposes is justified? Are there any alternatives to animal experimentation? v.2

Do you believe that experimentation on animals for scientific purposes is justified? Are there any alternatives to animal experimentation? v. 2
Medical science has improved tremendously over last few decades. The majority of the medicines available in the market have been tested on the animals and once the satisfactory results have been received, those medicines are approved for human use. Many people question these days is it required to torture animals in the name of medical needs. Experimenting on the animals for scientific purposes has been adopted since many years so certainly there must be few advantages of it. Firstly, human life is very important so it would not be a wise step to try medicines directly on humans. Experimenting on animals is a proved technique. Our science has discovered that the human body is similar to the animals. For example, the anaesthesia, which is used to make animals unconscious, works similarly on the humans. On the other hand, it is definitely inhumane to treat animals as a machine. Animals are tortured during the experiments. For instance, to test the nail polish, the chemical is put into rabbit's eyes. Because animals cannot speak, we are unable to understand their pain. In few of the experiments, the animal's body parts are being cut one by one to capture the record the medicine's effect. Science has progressed in all the directions. So, we surely have few alternatives which should be encouraged to alternate animal experimentation. One of them is to use more natural products. If the demand for the chemical product is reduced, such experiments would definitely be reduced. For instance, many cosmetic companies are selling natural beauty products, where it is clearly mentioned that "Not tried on animals". If people increase the use of such products, other cosmetic companies would also try to sell natural products. If we can develop medicines to reduce human pain, we should also create medicines to reduce animal’s pain during experiments. I believe that we all have equal rights to live happy and healthy lives on this planet. I would say we should promote a healthier lifestyle to reduce overall use of the medicines.
Medical science has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
tremendously
over last few decades. The majority of the medicines available in the market have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tested
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and once the satisfactory results have
been received
, those medicines
are approved
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
question these days is it required to torture
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in the name of medical needs.

Experimenting on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for scientific purposes has
been adopted
since
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
certainly
there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be few advantages of it.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
life is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it would not be a wise step to try medicines
directly
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
. Experimenting on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
is a proved technique. Our science has discovered that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
body is similar to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
For example
, the
Possible spelling mistake. 'anaesthesia' is British English.
anaesthesia
, which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
unconscious, works
similarly
on the humans.

On the other hand
, it is definitely inhumane to treat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
as a machine.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Animals
are tortured
during the experiments.
For instance
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
the nail polish, the chemical
is put
into rabbit's eyes.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
cannot speak, we are unable to understand their pain. In few of the experiments, the animal's body parts are being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
one by one to capture the record the medicine's effect.

Science has progressed in all the directions.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, we
surely
have few alternatives which should
be encouraged
to alternate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
experimentation. One of them is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
more natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. If the demand for the chemical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
, such experiments would definitely be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cosmetic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are selling natural beauty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, where it is
clearly
mentioned that
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Not tried on animals
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
. If
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
increase the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, other cosmetic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
would
also
try to sell natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. If we can develop medicines to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
pain, we should
also
create medicines to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal’s
pain during experiments.

I believe that we all have equal rights to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
happy and healthy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
on this planet. I would say we should promote a healthier lifestyle to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
overall
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of the medicines.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Do you believe that experimentation on animals for scientific purposes is justified? Are there any alternatives to animal experimentation? v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
337 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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