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Parents, who send their children to private school, should not be required to pay education tax. v.1

Parents, who send their children to private school, should not be required to pay education tax. v. 1
Tax is aiding to creep the authority revenue by the direct or indirect ways from the public. Tax is collected by various modes such as- by Tool tax, Educational tax and so on. It is believed that guardian should not be required to disburse education tax who send their children to private schools. I accede to this interpretation that parents should not pay tax who send their children to private schools because they already sacrifice by spending a huge amount in schools as a fee for their children's education. For instance, in Canada, the private school or university want a big chunk of money from guardians who want higher educations for their children. So they should not do more sacrifice by paying education taxes. On the other hand, it is believed that all people are equal, nobody is different to each other so all people have a responsibility to pay tax as an equality. Moreover, we know that the tax money is used in the government schools for covering the education of students, authority schools can also provide a higher education to students in private schools. In addition to, we also pay an emergency tax for fire brigade or ambulance. As evidence, fortunate, some people do not use this help in their lives but they pay this tax so, as this all parents should be paid education tax even they send their children to private schools. To sum up, I strongly believe that all parents should not be pay tax because they already pay huge money to schools. I think as the burden of pay education tax, the students cannot able to concentrate in their study.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Tax
is aiding to creep the authority revenue by the direct or indirect ways from the public.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Tax
is collected
by various modes such as- by Tool
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
, Educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. It
is believed
that guardian should not
be required
to disburse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
schools.

I accede to this interpretation that parents should not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they already sacrifice by spending a huge amount in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
as a fee for their children's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
For instance
, in Canada, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
or university want a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
chunk of money from guardians who want higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educations
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
they should not do more sacrifice by paying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
taxes.

On the other hand
, it
is believed
that all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are equal, nobody is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
to each other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have a responsibility to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
as an equality.
Moreover
, we know that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
money is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
for covering the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
of students, authority
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
can
also
provide a higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
to students in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
.
In addition
to, we
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
an emergency
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
for fire brigade or ambulance. As evidence, fortunate,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, as this all parents should
be paid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
even they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
schools.

To sum up, I
strongly
believe that all parents should not be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they already
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
huge money to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
as the burden of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
, the students
Did you mean "cannot be able"?
cannot able
to concentrate in their study.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
44Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Parents, who send their children to private school, should not be required to pay education tax. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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