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If you have the opportunity to do something for a good cause, which of the following would you choose? 1. Distributing meals to needy people2. Helping build a playground for children3. Visiting people in hospitals v.1

If you have the opportunity to do something for a good cause, which of the following would you choose? 1. Distributing meals to needy people2. Helping build a playground for children3. Visiting people in hospitals v. 1
In today’s world, we use more and more online platforms like Amazon for our purchases. The main cause of this is that we go to the physical store way less than before. In this essay, I will discuss the positive and negative aspects of this new habit. Regarding buying from an online store, I believe that there are some indubitable benefits for the consumer. Firstly, the prices online are usually smaller than that of the store, so as to save money that we can use for other pleasures. Furthermore, an online store is always with us. This allows us to save not only money, but also our precious time, that we can spend for examples doing some hobby. At the same time, I believe that there some serious disadvantages of shopping online. Many local stores are closing because they cannot compete with the prices of the big companies that sell their products online. Because of this, many people are losing their jobs and their activities. Despite of this, there are still not many rules and laws about these companies. In fact, one of the reasons why they can sell their products at these very competitive prices is that they are much less taxed than the small businessman. Finally, I believe that these big online stores do not represent something totally bad, but also that it is absolutely necessary a strong regulation to protect our local business owners. In this way, we can keep the free market and avoid a monopoly, which is always bad for the consumer.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
platforms like Amazon for our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
. The main cause of this is that we go to the physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store
way less than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. In this essay, I will discuss the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects of this new habit.

Regarding buying from an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store
, I believe that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
indubitable benefits for the consumer.
Firstly
, the prices
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
are
usually
smaller than that of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store
,
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
save money that we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
for other pleasures.
Furthermore
, an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store
is always with us. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
us to save not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
money,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
our precious time, that we can spend for examples doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
hobby.

At the same time, I believe that there
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
serious disadvantages of shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
are closing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they cannot compete with the prices of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
that sell their products
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
.
Because of this
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are losing their jobs and their activities.
Did you mean "Despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
Despite of
this, there are
still
not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and laws about these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
. In fact, one of the reasons why they can sell their products at these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
competitive prices is that they are much less taxed than the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
businessman.

Finally
, I believe that these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
do not represent something
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
that it is
absolutely
necessary a strong regulation to protect our local business owners. In this way, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the free market and avoid a monopoly, which is always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
for the consumer.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay If you have the opportunity to do something for a good cause, which of the following would you choose? 1. Distributing meals to needy people2. Helping build a playground for children3. Visiting people in hospitals v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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